Posted on 01/09/2015 4:40:53 AM PST by Lucky9teen
I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business and patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic. A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims shouting Anti-American slogans with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side was stopped next to me.
Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar! Praise Allah! Death to America" and took off before the light changed.
Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.
For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself:
"Man.... that coulda been me!"
So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
Muhammad was not born gay. He was sucked into it.
Um....contradict much?
A young Arab asks his father, “What is this weird hat that we are wearing ?”
“It’s a ‘chechia’ because, in the desert, it protects our heads from the sun.”
“And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing?”
“It’s a ‘djbellah’ because, in the desert, it is very hot and it protects your body”
“And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet ?”
“These are ‘babouches’, which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert”
“Tell me, Papa…”
“Yes, my son ?”
“Why are we living in Melbourne and still wearing all this crap?”
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
Let’s see now…
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders
No Nude Women/Men
No car races
No football
No pork BBQ
No hot dogs
No burgers
No chocolate chip cookies
No lobster
No nachos
No Beer nuts
No Beer
Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next door because he’s sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
More than one wife.
You can’t shave.
Your wives can’t shave.
You can’t shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey.
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!
No mystery here.
Arab scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages.
They’re calling it ‘Islam’.
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London.
He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching,
he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music,
especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, “What are you doing?
The cabbie answered, “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so screw off and wait for a camel!”
HUZZAH!!
>> Now, stay single and live happily ever after.<<
If you think you start missing the married life, just remember it’s cheaper just to pay someone to come by and kick you in the b@lls every few days.
“I’d get down to the gates of Hell and Satan would JUMP OUT....RRROOAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!! Ah #@$#...you were married huh? Well, I guess there’s nothing much new for you here. Well, I’ll give you the nickel tour anyway....see that? That’s where we torment the soul.......OOOOOOOH! Say, you didn’t happen to see any single guys coming down the tunnel did you? I can scare the $#@# out of them. Oh &*(! ....you were married twice? Want a job? That qualifies you for the job placement program here in Hell...”
-Sam Kinison
lol...now that is perfect!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.