Before tarring and feathering anyone with Stockholm Tar (The Yacht-Club version of plain old Pine Tar), permit me to suggest a much more non-racist adhesive that dries or cures clear and at ambient temperature: good old Polyester Resin. Make sure you do not use inappropriately coloured feathers: Rhode Island Red? Out. Plymouth Rock? Out. White Domestic Turkey or Leghorn? In. (and particularly appropriate for Dingy Harry Reid)
Plus, the Resin and Feather treatment can be applied with a chopper-gun, meaning you could be done and outa there before the SWAT arrives. Good luck and gentil plumerai la tete.