Spokane Man Attempts to Pet Bull Moose in Cemetery, Big Trouble Ensues

Wide Open Spaces ^ | 9/23/2014 | Matt Alpert

[Rio]

A Washington man was arrested on assault and drug charges after trying to pet a bull moose in a cemetery in Spokane over the weekend.

On Sunday, a bull moose wandered into the Holy Cross Cemetery, attracting a crowd of onlookers. According to KXYL, Wildlife officers arrived on the scene and tried to disperse the crowd. Most everyone was cooperative. Everyone except for Joshua Patterson.

Patterson, 33, tried to pet the moose even after officers ordered him not to. When an officer told Patterson he was under arrest, he refused to comply. Instead, he blew smoke in the officer’s face, hit her arm, stole her taser, and ran away.

He didn’t get far. A short time later, cops took Patterson into custody. Patterson had illegal prescription drugs on him, so he was hit with both drug and assault charges. He’s being held on a $10,000 bond.

As for the moose, wildlife officers managed to tranquilize and relocate it to a nearby county.

While it might seem like the consequences of Patterson’s actions couldn’t be any worse, consider what might have happened had he actually petted the bull moose. He’d probably be minced meat right now.

Please, don’t pet the moose.

[Pride in the USA]

Then there was that fool of a man who parked in my private driveway at my private residence to shoot pictures of a moose 15 feet from his location! I was at the kitchen window waving the idiot away, but he just casually waved back at me and kept taking pictures. Stupid man.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

I believe he was charged with cheesing off a moose without using a stuned beeber.

[BenLurkin]

[moose07]

Just hanging around this town minding my own business, with a weather eye on some passing sisters, and this egit comes waltzing up acting kind of weird.
When the tranquilizers ware off , I'm going to go strolling back into town and find that creep. Them Sisters was mine!

[Darksheare]

Kick him in the shins for good measure!

[moose07]

Hold on now...got to follow s.o.p., I’ll stare at him for a bit, make him sweat.
Then it’s go for a Conversion at Twickenham! Weeeeeeeeeeeee.....

[Darksheare]

*whack* “Goooooooal!”

[moose07]

That’s under the crossbar, this dude’s going over!

[Darksheare]

“It’s a bit to the right.” -commenter one
“Shanked it the last time.” -commenter two.

[moose07]

“That’s Nine lace holes! Nine lace holes are airborne! “ -commentator 1.
“That’s going to hurt in the morning! “ -commentator 2.

[Darksheare]

“And we have a point conversion! It is good! No, wait, he bounced out, have to try again!”
*dude starts whimpering*

[moose07]

He’s whimpering because I’m chewing on his coat.
It was green and looked kind of good, but sure tastes bad.

[Darksheare]

Another toss for the practice?

[Billthedrill]

Patterson, 33, tried to pet the moose even after officers ordered him not to.

You just know the story is going downhill from there.

[moose07]

Okay,
taking run up.

[Darksheare]

Minds eye: he falls short, possibly on purpose.

[moose07]

Hurumpf.
Let’s drag him back to the UT for ‘questioning’. :)
‘Night.

[Darksheare]

Lol, goodnight.