Posted on 08/11/2014 3:25:19 PM PDT by Morgana
My previous columns drew attention to some of the ways pornography affects the actresses within it. Today I’d like to draw awareness to another fact that we don’t seem to comprehend:
Pornography
IS
an
AFFAIR.
Any time we bond sexually with another person besides the one to whom we’ve committed ourselves, an affair occurs. It doesn’t matter if that bond is in person or via a computer screen, a dating or married person who uses pornography is literally cheating or committing adultery.
Rather than go on about this at great length, I’d like to share two emails that I received. Lots of people email me. Sometimes I have something to offer in response. Many times I don’t. I’m not a counselor, and am in no position to give advice for many cases.
While it’s easy for me to identify with men who struggle with an attraction to porn – as I was one of them – and those who are involved in creating or acting in porn – since I produced it for so long – it’s particularly hard for me to answer emails from women who are in pain due to a husband’s porn addiction. I don’t know what to say most of the time, and I also feel so much guilt for contributing to that cycle.
When these emails come in, I’ll sometimes ask Wendy for feedback. Wendy is my amazing ex-wife, the mother of my son, whose heart I ripped to shreds with my lies, cheating, deceptions and involvement in porn production. After all I’ve done to her, especially because of all I’ve done to her, I’m honored to call her my friend – a very good friend.
When a woman recently emailed me asking for help…well, I’ll just let you read the email, followed by Wendy’s response. The first time I read Wendy’s letter in church it helped save a marriage, when a man in the audience recognized the truth of her response, drove half way across LA, apologized to his wife, and then drove back across town to come clean with his pastors about his porn addiction. I hope you find it useful, too. But first, the plea for help from a wife whose husband’s porn addiction is impacting her life:
Hello Donny,
I first want to say that I just found your blog yesterday and I sat and wept at my kitchen table as I began to read the entries, one at a time from start to finish. You have chosen such an amazing journey and I have NO doubt that God will continue to bless you and your family as he has already started to do.
I’m not really sure where to begin so I guess I will just start here…I found out a little over a year ago that my husband is addicted to pornography. It is so overwhelming for me as I am just starting to learn how deep and dark these wounds are for a man, his wife, and their marriage. I struggle every day with the fear of what’s next.
I know my God protects me. I know who I am in his eyes. But as confident as I am in that…my husband’s addiction is stripping away all that I am. I feel that I am alone in this fight because I have not really found anyone who understands or can guide and support me in the decisions and choices I need to make in order to cope with this reality.
I want to be the wife that I feel in my heart that God has called me to be…I just have no idea how right now. I have been touched by your entries about your ex-wife Wendy and all that the two of you have been through. She seems like a woman who has been through it and come out in a stronger place because of it.
My question is this…does she have a blog or email that she makes public? Does she, in any way, support wives who are dealing with this issue? I am really just looking for any kind of support from women that I can get. I want to know there are strong women praying for my husband and I. I want to know there is someone I can turn to when the heartache and sadness seem like the only things that are certain in my life. Advertisement
If she has nothing like this, do you have any suggestions for a wife who needs support? It seems like the wives are a lost casualty in this war…there isn’t much out there for us that I have found so far. We are from the (location removed) area so maybe you know of some things that I don’t.
I appreciate all the help you can give.
Keep up the fight…you are truly a blessed and courageous man of God. Thanks for your honesty.
At the time of this email, it had been years since Wendy and I divorced, but I think you can see the emotions still present when you read her response, which I’m about to share with you.
“I don’t think Playboy is porn..”
Playboy is the worst kind of porn.
The Disciple of Dr. Alfred Kinsey: Hugh Hefner and the PlayBoy Brand Produces Child Pornography
“I will be Kinsey’s pamphleteer. I will train other people, tell them the truth about our parents and their sexuality,” Reisman says of Hefner.
I don't endorse porn, so if you got no woman, then you need to find out why not. It's not hard difficult to get a good woman -- provided you realize you're not Tom Cruise and she's not gonna be Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Lower your expectations (and your self-esteem) and you'll find your dream-girl (or guy) eventually. No guarantees, obviously -- but if you fail (although you shouldn't, unless you really are waiting for Catherine) you'll always have porn....
“A lot of porn is made these days by women.”
That kind of porn is easy to spot - the guy cooks dinner and then does the dishes...(ducks).
Lower your expectations (and your self-esteem) and you'll find your dream-girl (or guy) eventually.
I've done all of that to no avail. Of course I could only lower my standards to a certain point so had to give a few a pass who wanted me.
I’ve been looking at Playboy since the 1960s
Never have I seen a child porn pictorial...
I’d remember that I think.
“The research was an investigative analysis of PLAYBOY, PENTHOUSE and HUSTLER over the period of December 1953 to December 1984 to examine for nonviolent, violent, and criminal image portrayal and scenario involvement of children. The research reported the findings of 14,854 images of crime and violence and 6,004 images of children (with the predominate group being girls between ages 3 to 11 years) as part of the overall sexual and violent scenario. There were 989 sexual scenarios which included children actively involved with adults; and each magazine portrayed children as unharmed and/or benignly affected by the child/adult sex. For related volumes, see NCJ 107147-107149.” – Judith Reisman, PHD
There are serious problems with Reisman's numbers. During the period of Reisman's study:
Reisman reported that of a total of a possible 18,220 photographs published in the 30 year period, an extraordinary 14,854 (81.5%!) were found by Reisman to be images of "crime and violence" and 6,004 (33%!) of them to involve girls between 3 and 11 years of age in sexual encounters with adults! This doesn't pass the smell test!
Pick up any random Playboy. I doubt there will be a photograph of any children even in the advertising. It simply isn't there.
Reisman conflates those three magazines together in her "research" as if they were equal and reports that over the period in her study she found 989 images involving children in sexually compromising situations. I doubt I have even opened any of those magazines in the last twenty years but during the period in question, I did subscribe to Playboy from about 1970 to 1980, which Reisner consistently refers to as "Play Boy", showing her total lack of familiarity with the brand, and not ONCE was there an image of a child in a sexually compromising position, certainly none between 3 and 11, as Reisman claims in her "scholarly paper." However, Hustler Magazine—which published only from 1974 to 1984 during the period of Reisman's study—a sleazy hardcore pornographic magazine had a cartoon entitled "Chester the Molester" which featured children being molested by the title character, along with other cartoons featuring kiddie porn themes that probably totaled the entire number of images she used to blast the other two men's magazines.
Larry Flynt, Hustler's publisher was in court constantly for his smutty content. Hugh Hefner was not. Had Playboy published anything of the kind Reisner claims, Hefner would be languishing in prison.
Attack these magazines for what they did publish for what you don't agree with, and for their Liberal viewpoints, but don't swallow lies to make it worse. That only diminishes your position at best, and at worst destroys your argument when people know what you claim is not true.
That’s a woman??? Yikes!!
Freepmail wagglebee to subscribe or unsubscribe from the moral absolutes ping list.
FreeRepublic moral absolutes keyword search
Truthfully, God does mind actually, verses talk about this kind of thing. I think that’s part of the evil, it gets justified because it’s just a little looking, nothing wrong with that, but it most definitely is very wrong.
It’s a major problem for a lot of folks given at how easy it is to access it these days.
http://www.drjudithreisman.com/reisman_won_playboy_libel_suit.html
Playboy Lost to Reisman!
Reisman Child Porn Study Defeats Playboy’s Dutch Libel Suit
In 1994, Playboy sued Dutch tv broadcaster EO to demand the retraction of statements by Dr. Reisman in one of their broadcasts. On air, Reisman essentially accused Playboy of producing child pornography, based on the study of three decades of its publications. Playboy ultimately lost the lawsuit.
On September 17, 1994, EO, a Dutch public broadcasting association, aired an episode of its news and current affairs tv series Tijdsein (EN: Time Signal), which featured a 20 minute section on sexual abuse in the United States. Judith Reisman was interviewed for this production, in particular concerning the results from her study for the Department of Justice. This research was sponsored by its Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Project No. 84-JN-AX-K007, and carried out from February 1984 to November 1985, with results published in 1987.
“The research was an investigative analysis of PLAYBOY, PENTHOUSE and HUSTLER over the period of December 1953 to December 1984 to examine for nonviolent, violent, and criminal image portrayal and scenario involvement of children. The research reported the findings of 14,854 images of crime and violence and 6,004 images of children (with the predominate group being girls between ages 3 to 11 years) as part of the overall sexual and violent scenario. There were 989 sexual scenarios which included children actively involved with adults; and each magazine portrayed children as unharmed and/or benignly affected by the child/adult sex.”
— Role of Pornography and Media Violence in Family Violence, Sexual Abuse and Exploitation, and Juvenile Delinquency - NCJRS Abstract
See also: Images of Children, Crime and Violence in Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler
US-DeptOfJustice-Seal
October 3, 1994, EO is subpoenaed by Playboy, demanding retractions be published in the next episode of Tijdsein, as well as printed in the broadcasting association’s tv guide. They charged unauthorized use of their brand and that Playboy had been “brought into the news by the EO in an unnecessarily hurtful and damaging way”, claiming they had “suffered considerable damage”. A hearing was held on October 11.
NL_Logo_EO
About EO
(Wikipedia; English)
“lies and slander” ... “Never is there an image of a child in the magazine.”
— Jan Heemskerk, Chief Editor for Playboy in The Netherlands
“I assume that, in America, Playboy has long been familiar with the views of Reisman. I would say to Mr. Heemskerk: turn to America.”
— Andries Knevel, EO Director of Programming
“Playboy never will sue me in the USA, since their deliberate child sex abuse methodology would be proven in a court of law.”
— Judith A. Reisman, PhD
“a sleazy hardcore pornographic magazine had a cartoon entitled “Chester the Molester” which featured children being molested by the title character, along with other cartoons featuring kiddie porn themes that probably totaled the entire number of images she used to blast the other two men’s magazines. “
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Speaking of Dwaine Tinsley, creator of “Chester the Molester”.....
‘Chester the Molester’ Cartoonist Convicted of Child Molestation
VENTURA, CALIF. VENTURA, Calif. (AP) _ The cartoonist who created Hustler magazine’s ‘’Chester the Molester’’ has been convicted of molesting a teen-age girl.
Dwaine Tinsley, 44, was found guilty of five child molestation counts by a Superior Court jury on Friday. Jurors agreed Tinsley had substantial sexual contact with the girl but also acquitted him of six charges and deadlocked on another five.
The cartoon created by Tinsley depicts a lecherous character and his attraction to young girls. He refused to talk with reporters after the verdict.
Defense lawyer George C. Eskin promised to appeal the guilty verdicts, arguing as he did during trial that the young woman accused Tinsley in retaliation for his efforts to halt her drug use.
Tinsley faces a maximum prison term of 16 years and a $50,000 fine when he is sentenced March 1, said Deputy District Attorney Matthew J. Hardy.
The molestations started in 1984, when the girl was 13 and continued until age 17, he said.
Evidence presented at the trial said Tinsley told co-workers, ‘’You can’t write this stuff all the time if you don’t experience it.’’
But Tinsley’s ‘’Chester the Molester’’ eliminated its focus on pedophilia several years ago, Hardy said.
The prosecutor said the verdicts vindicated the victim, whose longtime efforts to report the attacks were discredited by adults.
Tinsley, who now lives in Los Angeles, testified during the seven-day trial that the woman made up the story because he disapproved of her cocaine habit.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Oh gee he draws a cartoon about a dirty old man wanted to rape 9 year old girls and he’s arrested for what? I wonder why? NOT! Yet you would defend this? You think this is okay? You think the 13 year old in this story thinks this is okay? Her life in ruined! This man should be tarred and feathered!
Who would defend that? Nobody I would hope.
+++++++++++++++++++
If I could paste this entire report here I would but it's way too long. For your records however here is the linky...
IMAGES
OF
CHILDREN,
CRIME
AND
VIOLENCE
IN
PLAYBOY,
PENTHOUSE
AND
HUSTLER
MAGAZINES
http://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives/CCV-ExeSum.pdf
Gerry, Waggs, the stuff Reisman mostly complains about starts on page 15 of this report. It is sick and twisted stuff. Everything from sex and violence to drug use. Mind you these are common “cartoons” in playboy/penthouse. Some stuff she blotted out with tape but you still know what was happening.
You wonder why so many men were caught on “Datelines’ To Catch a Predator”? Why all the men answered “I don't know why I'm going after a child?” I know why!! This sick crap put it in their sub-conscience!!This sick crap told them in so many word it was "okay".
This would include Japanese anime as images of children, they are a very perverted thing
WOW!
What a powerful article.
In before the porn supporters.
I notice that it didn’t take long for the finger pointing to begin.
*Women do it too.* without any acceptance of their responsibility.
Blame shifting is NEVER the answer.
And yes, when women indulge in their version of porn, it’s just as bad and just as damaging and just as wrong.
Having watched a porn movie once does not equate to a porn addiction.
I doubt it.
Perhaps He understands we struggle with it because He knows we're human and sinful but I doubt He thinks its OK.
Jesus told us that if a man looks on a woman lustfully, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart. And I"m sure that applies to women as well.
Sin is born in the heart long before it is manifested in the actions. It's simply a matter of the level of self-control of the individual whether or not they act on their sinful desires.
Gerry, Waggs, if I was married I would not want a husband who read Playboy/Penthouse.
Nor would I read “Fifty Shades”.
I guess I’m boring.
That isn’t boring. Boring is a spouse sitting in bed while their loved one is looking at the laptop screen instead of looking at them!
Do men or women really want to be compared to porn stars? Who is going to be happy living like that?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.