Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'prejudice' these days.
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.
If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"
The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."
BACK UP AS FAR AS YOU CAN
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.
The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”
Some Things Aren't What They Seen
A guy was driving along a country road and noticed a farmer standing in the middle of his field in the pouring rain. He thought he might be in trouble so he stopped his car and went over and asked if he was okay.
The farmer said, "Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm just trying to win a Nobel prize."
The other guy was really confused. "How exactly?" he asked the farmer.
The farmer answers, "I heard they give it to people who are outstanding in their field."
A while ago a new supermarket opened in Ajax, Ontario.
It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and there is the scent of freshly mowed hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions..
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens clucking and cackling, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore.Hat tip to Loud Mime
Maybe top ten?
Well said:
Hamas is attacking.
Israel is defending.
Russia is invading.
The Middle East is smoldering.
Boko Haram is massacring.
ISIS is marching.
Iran and N Korea are threatening.
American cities are crumbling.
Our southern border is dissolving.
Our debt is skyrocketing.
Americans are hurting.
Our enemies are laughing.
Obama is fundraising.
Politicians should wear a shock collar that goes off every time they tell a lie.
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Today's new word: Hellionaire - A person who is worth millions but claims to be dead broke.
Don't die a virgin. There are terrorists up there waiting for you.
The Mayor of London was very worried about a plague of pigeons in the City Centre.
He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of London was full of pigeon shit, the people of London could not walk on the pavements, or drive on the roads.
It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and pavements clean. One day a man came to the Town Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition.
"I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to the city, but you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me £ 1 million to ask one question."
The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition.
The next day the man climbed to the top of Nelson's Column, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue London sky.
All the pigeons in London saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind the bird. The London pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew eastwards out of the city. The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man on top of Nelson's Column
The Mayor was very impressed. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous service to rid London of the plague of pigeons. Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor presented him with a cheque for £ 1 million and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the £ 1 million just to get to ask ONE question.
The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE question.
The mayor asked: "Do you have a blue Muslim?"
h/t Leo
I do not have a TV and avoid watching TV (restaurants, etc.) as much as possible. Some of you may think I'm nuts. But here's a cartoon that explains
exactly why I object to TV:
