God required atonement. He let Jesus pay it, but it was required.There are some things that only require a simple “I’m sorry”. Others DO require atonement.
Someone once wronged me. I won’t go into the details. This person was motivated by sheer malice, nothing more as far as I could tell. She gained no advantage; I wracked my brains for months to figure out how I inspired such intense hatred in her. But I never did.
Here’s the thing: In doing what she did, she endangered my wife’s life. I’m not going to forgive unless she convinces me she’s changed. That will require some serious sacrifice on her part.
It’s not likely to happen. She’s not sorry, and she lives 4 states away now.
But it’s been along time, and I’ve mostly forgotten about it. I’m no longer bitter, and, in fact, what she did gave me a tremendous opportunity to improve my life. But I wouldn’t spit on her to save her life, although I might in other circumstances.
It took years of prayer and struggle to get to the point that I could let it go, but I finally did. But, no, I won’t give her cheap forgivness.
Well, I can’t pretend to walk in your shoes and I can’t say what’s best for you. Just letting it go, as you say, is all I was suggesting, as opposed to being spiteful. I’m glad you made it through whatever that was.
Let’s say that I “understand” the type of “wrongs” you’re talking about, if not precisely, I get the general idea enough for practical purposes.
IMHO, I think you’re on the right track.
A husband has a Biblical duty to protect the members of his household. When they are threatened or attacked, a husband will be moved to anger and to action. This is a God-given blessing in that the family has a determined and loyal protector on their side in the head of household. Of course, a head of household Biblically speaking should also have wisdom and restraint, so as to not be “hotheaded” and get angry at small things - which are not life-threatening, certainly.
All Christians have a Biblical duty to, in general, protect other people, especially Christians ! We so often don’t think of that.
Many Christians confuse personal wrongs someone commits against thems, personally, with sins someone commits against God. Some wrongs are, in fact, both of these, like stealing. The thief wronged the person he stole from, but he also sinned against God (remember the eighth commandment ?).
People can not absolve other people of their sins against God.
A person needs to be converted to Christ in order to avail themselves of Christ’s atoning sacrifice, regarding their sins against God.
As far as personal wrongs against a person, say, someone physically assaults you or your family, your first concern must be, of course, the safety of you and your household. When the altercation and threat subsides, reasonable caution is Scripturally warranted, and certainly prayers for God’s protection and help, but not vengeance.
If one’s family member suffers bodily harm at the hands of an attacker, this is particularly emotional, of course.
What we need to see revealed about ourselves, if we are to know that our own personal faith is oriented indeed in the direction of Scriptural truth, is that our primary concern is actually not our family - but God himself, our love for God the Father and his Son, by whose once and perfect sacrifice we are “bought with a price”.
If truly our Lord and Savior comes first in our lives, even above what is most precious to us (in the image of how Abraham was prepared to sacrifice his son, Isaac, by the command of God), then even in such personally horrific circumstances as we might find our household, in our most troubled times, we would cling to the rock of our salvation, the Lord. As much as our emotions cry out for justice for our loved one who was so badly harmed, the Holy Spirit dwelling within us would comfort us in that regard and even redouble our devotion to obedience to the Word of God exhorting that vengeance is the Lord’s. We should rest in the fact that the Lord will recompense, if even at Christ’s day of judgement.
Part of following God’s Word, of course, is seeing that the civil government prosecutes crimes of bodily assault. Romans 13 is one chapter that deals with civil government being ordained of God. In a truly Christian nation, civil penalties will be compatible with Scripture, thus we will see God’s will be done on earth as in heaven.
This adherence to the Word of God is what really should be the Christian’s primary motivation in such cases, taking priority in our heart and mind. We should be most upset that God’s law was broken and most concerned that God’s punishment needs to be administered by the civil government.