Good kitty...
Posted on 04/18/2014 5:38:39 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Good kitty...
Good morning on this Good Friday!
There is one rule for dealing with bullies.
Stand up to them. Fight back if you have to. Beat their asses if you can.
Q: What’s the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?
A: A Methodist will say hello to you when you see him in the liquor store.
Old joke about three liberals arguing about the meaning of Easter.
Michelle: “I can’t wait for easter. I’ve already bought all the Easter presents for my kids and will get an Easter tree as soon as the lot opens.
Joe: That’s not Easter. Easter is a religious holiday that’s celebrated only in America. It’s when all the Pilgrims and the Indians got together for a big dinner.
Debbie: No, No, Joe! Easter is a religious holiday that’s celebrated all over the world. Remember the story of when Christ died on the cross? After he died he was put into a cave. On the third day, which is Easter, he rose from the dead, stepped from the cave, didn’t see his shadow and went back in for another six weeks.
A: A Methodist drinks in public and prays in secret. A Baptist does it the other way.
A couple of Easter jokes from Twitter:
To have an authentic Sunrise Service only women should attend then go tell the men about it.
I planted some flower seeds in mashed potatoes.
Up from the gravy, a rose.
h/t to cleveland.com for the pic and Stealers Wheel for the lyric
h/t to cleveland.com for the pic and Stealers Wheel for the lyric
“Clowns to left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am, stuck in the middle again”
ROFL...how funny, and so true.
President Obama walked into the Bank of America to cash a check. As he approached the cashier he said, “Good morning Ma’am, could you please cash this check for me?”
Cashier: “It would be my pleasure sir. Would you please show me your ID?”
Obama: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA!!!!”
Cashier: “Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the Dodd /Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing your ID.s
Obama: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.”
Cashier: “I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”
Obama: “I order you to cash this check!”
Cashier: “Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.”
Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his check.
So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?”
Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, “Honestly, I can’t think of a single thing. I don’t have a clue what to do.”
Cashier: “Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?”
bttt!
That’s either a man or a very masculine-looking woman (face only).
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