Go down to your local school cafeteria and you will see these “physical assaults” regularly taking place with chicken, broccoli, chips, brownies — and yet no one gets in a fight or gets hurt or gets in trouble or calls the cops or pulls a gun.
Kids handle themselves in school cafeterias better than retired cops do in theatre auditoriums.
You can want wish think or dream but you do not get to rewrite the laws or decide how they are applied. If you are so sure of yourself then next time you see a cop go and get a box of popcorn, get very angry and jump up and and throw it in his face. Just go right ahead and prove that you are right. You may or may not get shot but you will be wearing handcuffs as they cart your butt off to jail for assault.