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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 03/07/2014 4:43:41 AM PST by Lucky9teen



For those who believe anything...(I got this in an email):

Dear Customer!!!

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your Confirm able Package that is registered with us for shipping to your residential Location. We had thought that your sender gave you our contact Details. It may interest you to know that a letter is also added to Your package.

We understand that the content of your package itself is a Bank Draft worth of $750,000.00 USD, FedEx does not ship money in CASH or in CHEQUES but can ship Bank Drafts. The package is registered with Us for mailing by your colleague from United Nations Organization, and Your colleague explained that he is from the U.S.A but he is currently In Africa for a three (3) months Surveying Project as he works with a Consultant firm in Nigeria, We are sending you this email because your Package is been registered on a Special Order. For your information, the VAT & Shipping charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid by your Colleague before your package was registered. Note that the payment that is made on the Insurance, Premium & Clearance Certificates, are to certify That the Bank Draft is not a Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF). This will help you Avoid any form of query from the Monetary Authority of your country.

However, you will have to pay a sum of $105.00 USD to the FedEx Delivery Department being full payment for the Security Keeping Fee of the parcel Been registered by your colleague, FedEx Company as stated in our privacy Terms & condition page.

Please note that packages are not shipped nor delivered on Saturday, Sunday and on holidays. If your order has been placed on any of these days, Then it may be shipped the following business day.

Kindly complete the below form and send it to the FEDEX DELIVERY POST With the below information's. This is mandatory to reconfirm your Postal address and telephone numbers.

FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
SEX:
CITY:
STATE:
OCCUPATION:
COUNTRY:

FEDEX DELIVERY POST

Contact Person: Mr. Lambert O. James.
Email: lambertjames361@yahoo.com
Phone: +2348161185018

**ALL PACKAGES ARE SIGNATURE REQUIRED.

If you have any other questions or concerns, Please feel free to contact us between Monday & Friday: 9:00am ? 9:00pm EST
Saturdays: 10:00am ? 5:00pm EST
Sundays: 10:00am - 4:00pm EST
Have a great day!
Federal Express Co-operation.
FedEx Online Team Management.
All rights reserved. © 1995-2014.


Human Kindness should be contagious...IMO Not silly, but very heart warming...

 

You have to STAY AWARE at all times!

 

 

Anyone watch those fishing programs on TV? This is a hoot!

 

 

The most precious little conductor How precious!!

 


A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town's grouch So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothing', so what are you going to do?"

The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43."

Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells.

"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor.

So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!"

Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."

Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.


When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the cream of the wretched crop................

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.



Anagrams for Barack Hussein Obama

"BHO: Unmask a race bias."

"Bask, a no-Bush America!"

"Ouch, man! A bias breaks."

"Arab 'E' maniac KOs Bush." 

"Baha bankers IOU scam."

"O' I mash bareback anus!"

"A Shabbi Sack O Manure."

"A such Arab? Ask, I'm ebon."

"Asks, "Can I be a, ah, um, bro?"

"Arab Osama Bin he suck."

"Babushkas On, America!"

"Bank Him....B.O. USA-Caesar."

"A man hacks our babies."

"Abuse a charisma knob."

"HRC's a nuke-Asia A-bomb!"

"I am a bourse cash bank."

"O, man, I scare Babushka!"

"O, Cuba ranks him as Abe?"

"Can B. O. bar Sheik Usama?"

"I am a hack, abuser, snob."

"I am a hacker's anus bob."

"Arabic-shaken, USA mob?"

"Heck, USA, I'm an Arab SOB!"

"OK, ambush as nice Arab."

"Bam! (As I KO an HRC abuse.)"

"He sucks an A-bomb aria."

"Ban Bush, soak America."

"Obama bin Shark-Sauce."

"O Arabic snake, ambush!!"

"Aka a bomb has sin cure."

"AKA American HUB Boss."

"I am a bush snake (cobra)"

"Broke Bush as a maniac." 

"I, Arab sham, beckon USA."

"A bohemian 'Arab' sucks!"

"Caramba! Obedient Spark."

"Bad skeptic or mean Arab."

"Sneak barbaric, mad poet."

"O, embrace drab Pakistan!"

"An Arab backed imposter."

"Break combat and aspire."

"Arab base, pink Democrat!"

"Macabre Bonaparte, kids!"



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; putin; silliness; ukraine
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To: onyx

And still overpriced.


21 posted on 03/07/2014 5:34:03 AM PST by verga
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To: verga

Absolutely!
That idiot’s idiot book can’t even be given away!


22 posted on 03/07/2014 5:39:25 AM PST by onyx (Please Support Free Republic - Donate Monthly! If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, Let Me know!)
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Comment #23 Removed by Moderator

To: everyone


24 posted on 03/07/2014 5:40:17 AM PST by onyx (Please Support Free Republic - Donate Monthly! If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, Let Me know!)
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To: upchuck

LOL. I got those Putin vs 0 bummer pictures in an email this morning.


25 posted on 03/07/2014 5:44:41 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: Lucky9teen

26 posted on 03/07/2014 5:48:12 AM PST by onyx (Please Support Free Republic - Donate Monthly! If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, Let Me know!)
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To: everyone


27 posted on 03/07/2014 5:54:02 AM PST by onyx (Please Support Free Republic - Donate Monthly! If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, Let Me know!)
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28 posted on 03/07/2014 5:57:50 AM PST by RandallFlagg ("I said I never had much use for one. Never said I didn't know how to use it." --Quigley)
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To: Lucky9teen

“I can’t hear anything.”


29 posted on 03/07/2014 6:00:40 AM PST by Louis Foxwell (This is a wake up call. Join the Sultan Knish ping list.)
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To: bert

How does one change the name of their WiFI ?


30 posted on 03/07/2014 6:06:37 AM PST by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: Pan_Yan

31 posted on 03/07/2014 6:10:39 AM PST by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: fredhead

Top 50 woohoo...

Enjoy the weekend. And remember....

Guns don’t kill people. Husbands who come home early do.


32 posted on 03/07/2014 6:27:06 AM PST by EQAndyBuzz (Insurgent Conservative)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 50!


33 posted on 03/07/2014 6:35:08 AM PST by The Chief
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To: fredhead

34 posted on 03/07/2014 6:37:21 AM PST by RandallFlagg ("I said I never had much use for one. Never said I didn't know how to use it." --Quigley)
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To: Lucky9teen

35 posted on 03/07/2014 6:39:30 AM PST by Travis T. OJustice (I miss you, dad.)
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To: Arrowhead1952

So I was at the bank the other day. After she finished processing my deposit, the very attractive teller asked me, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Apparently, “take off your clothes” is not an appropriate answer to that question. Anybody know a good lawyer?


36 posted on 03/07/2014 7:06:10 AM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: Lucky9teen

37 posted on 03/07/2014 7:06:47 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: onyx

38 posted on 03/07/2014 7:12:38 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: dead

39 posted on 03/07/2014 7:15:38 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: dead

40 posted on 03/07/2014 7:19:45 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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