UH-OH. Now you've done it. You've got me started on Little Johhny jokes.
The teacher told the class that today they’d be guessing objects from physical description. She said, "I will hold an object under my desk and physically describe it to you, and then class, you have to tell me what you think it is I have under my desk." First the teacher said, "I have something long and yellow, what is it?" Sally raises her hand and the teacher calls on her, "What do you think it is Sally?" "It’s a banana", replied Sally. "No, it’s a pencil" said the teacher, "But I like the way you think." Next the teacher said, "I’m holding something round and red, what is it?" Billy raises his hand and the teacher calls on him, "What do you think it is Billy?" "It’s a tomato" says Billy. "No, it’s an apple" says the teacher, "but I like the way you think." Little Johnny raises his hand so the teacher calls on him and says, "Yes Little Johnny." "Well Ms. Smith, I have one for you" says Little Johnny. "Okay says the teacher." "What’s round, hard, and has a head?" replied Little Johnny. "Oh no, Little Johnny that is not appropriate for school at all." says the teacher. "It’s a quarter" says Little Johnny, "but I like the way you think."
One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now
class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of
fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about."
"Okay, first: it's round, plumb and red."
Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely,
ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple."
"No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking. Now, for the
second. It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish."
Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get
the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on
Billy.
"Is it a peach?"
"No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like you're
thinking. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard."
By now, Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand
frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally.
"A banana," she says.
"No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your
thinking."
Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey,
I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket.
Okay, I've got it: it's about 8 inches long, hard, and
it's got a little pink head on it."
"Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!"
"Nope," answers Johnny, "its a pencil, but I like your
thinking!"
The teacher was teaching the uses of gardening implements to her class. “Susie, what is this?” “That’s a spade, teacher” came the answer. “What is this, Freddie?” “It’s a plow, teacher.” “Johnny, what is this?” “I don’t know, teacher; what is it?” Johnny replied.
“Johnny”, she said, “this is a hoe. Johnny, why are you shaking your head no?”
“That’s no hoe, teacher. My siter’s a ho and she don’t look nothin’ like dat!”