Fast forward to 2030 and the conversation with your assigned Obamacare doctor/IRS agent:
Doctor: I can see that you are reasonably healthy but I’m going to have to report you for eating beef which was banned during the Franken Administration three years ago.
You: Doc, there must be some mistake. I have been following the Michelle Obama dietary guidelines to the letter as instructed. I swear. I would never eat beef.
Doctor: That’s not what your earwax says.
You: Earwax? What earwax?
Doctor: That sample we took from you while we had you sedated. It revealed a high probability that you had consumed beef in violation of federal law. That will be a $5,000 fine.
You: No! There must be some mistake!
Doctor: The earwax doesn’t line. Oh, and while we’re discussing it, the earwax says you aren’t getting enough gay sex either. You need to watch that.
LOL