Posted on 02/15/2014 6:46:41 PM PST by DogByte6RER
John Key: 'I'm not a reptile'
He's been to a doctor and a vet just to make sure, but Prime Minister John Key is adamant he's not a shapeshifting reptilian alien.
Mr Key was unusually forced to deny any previously non-declared extraterrestrial connections to reporters after an Auckland man put in an Official Information Act (OIA) request asking for proof he might be one.
"To the best of my knowledge, no. Having been asked that question directly, I've taken the unusual step of not only seeing a doctor but a vet, and both have confirmed I'm not a reptile," a smiling Mr Key said today.
"So I'm certainly not a reptile. I've never been in a spaceship, never been in outer space, and my tongue's not overly long either."
Last month, Auckland man Shane Warbrooke put in an OIA request to the prime minister's office, asking for "any evidence to disprove the theory that Mr John Key is in fact a David Icke style shapeshifting reptilian alien ushering humanity towards enslavement".
David Icke is a British author who believes many world leaders are actually part of a plot to enslave the human race, driven by reptilian shapeshifting aliens.
Mr Key's chief of staff Wayne Eagleson replied to Mr Warbrooke, saying that the OIA request was declined under a section of the act because "the document alleged to contain the information requested does not exist or cannot be found".
(Excerpt) Read more at 3news.co.nz ...
Hmm.
But you didn’t have my coffee with it.
I have found my test subject!
We...may begin.
*hands steepled, eyes are not visible as the glasses are reflecting frighteningly from over a rather remarkably toothy grin*
I really don’t want to tread on your personal turf, but you’re not the only one with a proprietary coffee recipe.
(Mine involves a bottle of Ice Mountain Water and two heaping soup spoons of extra fine Turkish Grind - in a saucepan.)
But did you mix it with absinthe?
...and I’m always up for “improving” my wares.
I quit drinking alcohol around 12 - 13 years ago. (I’m not into “counting” or “anniversaries.”)
Slowly over the years it had become deleterious to my health.
God knew my limitations, so He removed the burden from me, and His Son, Y’Shua healed me up real good.
Further Affiant Sayeth Not.
Just for fun try this:
On level soup spoon of raw sugar and a huge heaping soup spoon of Turkish Coffee. As I mentioned, I grind it myself extra, extra fine.
Put them in a small saucepan with a bottle (half liter) of your favorite bottled water. Slowly bring just barely to a boil, whisking frequently.
Now let the mud settle for about two minutes and pour off carefully. You can leave the last ounce or two in the pan with the mud - unless you like your coffee crunchy.
Drats.
So our combined hideous coffee has not met absinthe.
What do you suppose would happen to, hypothetically, someone who did try it?
> You have to admit that it would be fascinating to observe.
It would be fascinating to observe.
From a distance.
Low earth orbit, I think.
*bad idea generated*
Berserker Brew, the coffee of cosplayers.
(Cosplayers come in, and really ARE foaming at the mouth in full on berserker mode.)
Oh yes..I can see it now.
“Low earth orbit”
Kang and Kodos in orbit, laughing.
“The humans were unprepared for such hideous subterfuge! Hah hah hah!”
*loud bang is heard as a coffee mug bounces off their ship. Damage alarms sound*
The *Original* Cosplay
I can just imagine a ughcoffee absinthe mixer being handed to the actors before going out on stage.
Reptoids?
We don’t need reptoid conspiracies when we have bad ideas like this.
9:57 of FUN!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDf3D1BQoyk
You really think they need more stimulation?
The best part is at around 4:15.
Denial is always the first sign that they really are not a Lizard Person but instead a Salamander Man.
I was thinking of a night several years ago I couldn’t sleep and turned the radio on to Art Bell. He had on David Icke as a guest. I was well, frankly gob smacked that someone could think like this, in this day and age. Ten I thought this would make a great SF movie.
A few months later I learned that “ V” (the remake) was going to be on TV.
If people can morph into animals or reptiles, I want to be a house cat.
“The *real* stuff from Europe.”
I thought the legalized the import of it.
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