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I agreed to look after someone’s dachsund for a week one time.

I was told in no uncertain terms to let him sleep in the house — only outside in his crate.

First night he howled outside all night and kept the entire neighborhood up.

Second night he slept in the kitchen doors closed and howled all night and kept the whole house up.

Third night he slept in a bedroom with someone but then spent all night trying to get up on the bed.

Fourth night he slept in the bed but kept demanding more space and pushing the other sleeper out.

Fifth night he had 3/4 of the bed but kept pushing for more space.

Sixth night he had the whole bed to himself.

Seventh night he went home and next morning I received a phone call asking: “What the hell have you done to my dog”.

He never slept outside again or anywhere else except a warm comfortable bed.

Needless to say I don’t get any calls to look after their dogs anymore.

Many years ago my Uncle Joe was a bacholer and he had a friend who had three children. He was called to sit the kids occasionally and being a man who enjoyed kids, would read to them and tuck them in. Then the imposition became more frequent.

Soooooo one evening while the parents enjoyed the theater Joe, instead of putting the wee ones to bed, spent the evening training them to sit, down, roll over, play dead on command. When the parenti arrived home in the late hours, the tired giggling children showed them the new tricks. And Uncle Joe was never never asked to baby sit again.

He never slept outside again or anywhere else except a warm comfortable bed.

I made the mistake of falling asleep in bed while perusing a catalog with my brand new 7 week old mini doxie pup laying on my chest. She never wiggled once all night long. After that, NO ONE could sleep unless she was in HER spot.....