‘Look at you there, happy out leaping about the place.’
Funny Irish Phrases
•You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
•The longest road out is the shortest road home.
•The Irish are very fair people; they never speak well for one another.
•A quarrel is like buttermilk: once it’s out of the churn, the more you shake it, the more sour it grows.
•God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
•Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
•The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven’t seen the joke yet.
•The Irish ignore anything they can’t drink or punch.
•When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious.
•He is bad that will not take advice, but he is a thousand times worse that takes every advice.
•One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age.
•A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.
•Every St. Patrick’s Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
•An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.
•As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!
•If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
•Here’s to our wives and girlfriends: May they never meet
•I can resist everything except temptation.
•My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
•Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
•The Irish don’t know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it.
•God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish.
•If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.
•The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried.
•Irish Alzheimer’s: you forget everything except the grudges.
•Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
Ooops...you didn’t forget it.
That is great!!!
Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar, drinking. One asks the other “Where are you from?”
“Killarney,” he replies.
“Killarney! Really? I’m from Killarney too! Whereabouts?”
The second Irishman took a sip of his whiskey and said: “Herbert Road, in Dublin 4.”
“That is unbelievable!” said the first Irishman. “I grew up on that very same street. What school did you attend?”
“St. Margaret’s.”
“Saints be praised,” he replied. I did as well.”
Just then the bar manager came in and asked the bartender how things were going.
The bartender replied: “Fine, except the Murphy brothers are drunk again.”