Woman Files For Divorce Over The Way Her Husband Eats Peas

UPI ^ | Jan. 3, 2014 | Evan Bleier

[GeronL]

First you dump the peas onto the mashed potatoes and then grab them with a slice of bread. duh.

[GeronL]

exactly, especially if there is also gravy

[Scoutmaster]

A man was explaining that he was a widower three times over.

How did your first wife die?

She ate poison mushrooms.

How did your second wife die?

She ate poison mushrooms.

Astonishing. How did your third wife die.

Blunt force trauma.

Blunt force trauma?

Yes, she didn't like mushrooms.

[Responsibility2nd]

How to catch a Polar Bear.

Its a well known fact that Polar Bears love Peas.

So, cut a big hole in the ice and line it with peas. Then when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole......

[PistolPaknMama]

Supposed to stir them up in the mashed potatoes.

My kinda man!

PS Great video (wow!) and cute poochie too!

[Revolting cat!]

I hope that the High Court agrees with the defendant that peas are problematic.

[kjam22]

thanks!

[ETL]

What a pea brain.

[DeFault User]

One critical issue is that many spouses should use their engagement period to know each other well enough

I knew a woman in her 40s who was getting rather desperate to get married. She was a career type who had amassed a lot of money but evidently found herself alone in middle age. I asked her if she was ever engaged. "Yes," she said, "but I called it off." Err, Why?--"Well, I was talking on the phone with him and he put me on hold to take another call." She told him that since the other call was more important that she was, the engagement was over.

Lucky guy to be rid of such a woman. Later a friend of hers set her up on a blind date with a handsome doctor. I overheard her complaining later about the friend and the doctor. "Just my luck, he's gay!"

[Mercat]

rats. beat me to it.

[Anton.Rutter]

There’s only one proper way to eat peas.

ALONE!! ;)

[ETL]

I knew a woman in her 40s who was getting rather desperate to get married. She was a career type who had amassed a lot of money but evidently found herself alone

Tell her to give me a call. I think we can work something out. How's she look?

[Calvin Locke]

Back in the 1980s, there was Leo Buscaglia (sp?). From what little I watched of the guy, I do remember him saying that to resolve the toothpaste disagreement, “Buy two tubes!”.

[Secret Agent Man]

1. Don’t serve peas anymore.

2. Use two separate tubes of toothpaste. Better yet, his and hers bathrooms.

[faithhopecharity]

somehow this doesn’t sound like the most successful of marriages?

[Ditter]

Mr Ditter slurps his soup but I never thought about divorcing him over it.

[Squawk 8888]

I think we need a rule about gratuitous punnery.

[Mercat]

Mr. Mercat stirs his soup or his cereal or whatever he has before he eats it. We don’t eat peas unless they are fresh and raw in a salad.

[Squawk 8888]

Watermelons are worse. There has never been a socially acceptable way to eat them.

[Calvin Locke]

“...And then there was Harry. Remember Harry? He died when he was out...uh...umm...how was it?”
“Picnic. At a picnic.”
“Picnic. Right. Potato salad. You know, some people could look at this string of five deaths and say, “Hey, this is weird. Something’s going on here.”