To: Farnsworth
First Mate Spunk: [ peering through telescope ] Land ahoy! Land ahoy! Oh, my God, I don't know.. oh, it might be land, maybe it's another boat.. Oh, daft, it might me a cloud! No, I can't tell, this damn thing is torturing me. Oh, maybe it's a cloud, I'm not sure, oh dear!
Captain Ned: [ walking up ] Mr. Spunk! Have you spied land?
First Mate Spunk: I'm not sure! Somebody else get up here and look! If I say it's land, and we make for it and it's not, I'll get yelled for it!
Captain Ned: Alright! [ peers through telescope ]
Miles Cowperthwaite V/O: "What Mr. Spunk had sighted was not land at all, but a small, open boat. Which, upon closer inspection, was found to contain two remarkable passengers."
[ two women climb onboard The Raging Queen ]
Captain Ned: [ greeting them ] I am Captain Ned, of The Raging Queen! Tell me.. are there any males with you?
Madeline Warrington: No. Just my sister and I.
Ruth Warrington: Yes. My name is Ruth Warrington. This is my sister Madeline. We were crossing the West Indies, when pirates seized our ship. They took our entire crew prisoners.
Captain Ned: [ thinking ] Hmm.. Uh.. can you tell me, were these pirates manly and verile?
Madeline Warrington: They were contemptible animals, who subjected our ship's crew to the most unspeakable torture!
First Mate Spunk: Do you suppose these pirates might still be anywhere in the area.
Ruth Warrington: Yes. I'm afraid they may yet be very close..
Captain Ned: I see. [ runs to address his crew ] Men! There are pirates in these waters! Pirates who inflict hideous punishment to those who fall into their hands! [ crew oohs ] Now, we can turn tail and run. Or, we can take the many course, that which our manhood demands! Find these despots of discipline, and comfort them! What is your answer!!
Crew: Find the pirates!!
Captain Ned: So it will be done! Stand by to incur the waters!
[ crew wave out to see, in search of the pirates ]
23 posted on
01/01/2014 1:59:15 AM PST by
ETL
(ALL (most?) of the Obama-commie connections at my FR Home page: http://www.freerepublic.com/~etl/)
To: ETL
53 posted on
01/01/2014 7:47:57 AM PST by
Farnsworth
(Now playing in America: "Stupid is the new normal")
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