Redskins to be re-named the Washington 'Reds'

October 31, 2013 | MrChips

[MrChips]

In a move certain to delight most of official Washington, D.C., it has been decided to change the name of the Washington Redskins football franchise to the Washington Reds. President Obama, himself, voiced his approval of the decision, as did Harry Reid, who was practically giddy upon hearing the news. The stadium will be painted red, in keeping with the new name, and its own name will be changed to Red Stadium. All players who play for the Reds, as well as all Red staff, Red cheerleaders, and Red coaches, will be asked to pay a 60% surtax on their exorbitant salaries and to divest of their pension plans entirely in order to share their wealth more equitably with all of the people of the District of Columbia. Any profit-sharing from games played by the Reds will be placed into the general coffers at Treasury Department and administered by Jack Lew.

Ticket prices are expected to rise, to cover the cost of painting the stadium red, but also because all seating in the stadium is expected to go for the same price in an effort to ensure equality and fairness, although one section of free seats on the 50-yard line is being reserved for members of Congress and select people who work for the Obama administration. There will, of course, be a presidential box with red seats. An account of the new pricing policy, some have expressed concern that the stadium might not fill up as easily on Sundays. However, the former owners of the Reds (now called “Ministers”) have announced that they are establishing an online marketplace where tickets can more easily be sold through “exchanges.” A Canadian company has been hired to take charge of the effort.

[SunkenCiv]

A little joke...

Thanks MrChips.

[justiceseeker93]

Seeing as DC is controlled by the democRATS, an appropriate name would be the RATS.

LOL!!!

[jwalsh07]

Lol, good one

[justiceseeker93]

It will screw up sports best fight song.

Sports best fight song? Of course you're grossly exaggerating. Fight songs belong in colleges, where the whole genre originated decades before there was an NFL. If you compare "Hail to the Redskins" with the majority of the college fight songs, "Hail to the Redskins" would lose badly.

[justiceseeker93]

Good satire there, Mr. Chips. But even in the era of Obama, I don't think that a team named “Reds” with promotion and branding modeled on Communism would sell. From a practical business point of view, there's no reason to change “Redskins,” and the current owner should be praised for not knuckling under (yet) to leftist demands.