WTF (formerly known as CAIR) issued a statement this morning decrying the Islamophobia of cetacean biology.
Sheik Mohammed Muhumed Al Jabbar Mehummid Ibrahim Shasta Cola Al Jazeera, leading cleric for the People’s Islamic Republic of Kazakhstan, issued a formal fatwa declaring jihad againt aquatic life everywhere. “They have insulted the Profit!,” he exclaimed while fondling his eight year old third wife Oboywhatadeal.
Hundreds of Christians, Buddhists, Mormons, and Rastafarians were killed by irate mobs in revenge throughout the Middle East and select London suburbs.
The White House issued a statement apologizing for the incident, and suggested that the fish was motivated by an NRA video depicting Norwegian trawling operations. Gays in the military will wear their uniform trousers at half mast as a show of solidarity, although they’re not sure with whom.
‘Sheik Mohammed Muhumed Al Jabbar Mehummid Ibrahim Shasta Cola Al Jazeera’
Is that his abbreviated name?