[Innovative]

It's obvious, when you read it, but people still forget using the advice, which, in my opinion is correct.

[humblegunner]

solving problems for her

Her?

Are we working in a florist shop?

[USMCPOP]

Most of these are obviously not guidelines for government workers.

[Hardastarboard]

But, Mr. Clinton - I’ve never done anything like that before.

[NittanyLion]

“Actually I believe that was a double and not just a bogey, Mr. President.”

[Lancey Howard]

10. “Hang on... I’m about to beat level 67 of Candy Crush.”

[NittanyLion]

“But don’t you think we should at least discuss options for rescuing the ambassador, Madam Secretary?”

[MuttTheHoople]

“Boss, you’re an idiot for not voting for Obama.”

[Utilizer]

It's obvious someone prefers politicians to Engineers. Not that I have a high opinion of Engineers to begin with, having been forced to work with them before becoming one, but most of us learn fairly quickly that while Engineers have almost no sense of social grace or currently-accepted grooming standards (not to mention political maneuvering) at least they will not grinningly pump your hand while assuring you that yes, you can purchase the moon in a special Jalepeno-flavoured version if that is what is required, as any Salesman or politician would of course do. While lecturing you that you have to purchase it before you can read about what exactly is in the law -I mean; "package".

Engineers (and some Techs and Assemblers) may be awkwardly and socially inept for the most part, but if something can not be done they will tell you straight off and not try to blow smoke out their bum and confuse you.

[Gaffer]

“Hey, your wife is pretty hot. Does she ‘date’ much?”

[Mastador1]

I don’t know, I once worked a short time for a company owned by a Canadian, no offense to honest Canadians, and he was a lying, cheating, thief. He distributed checks to us that bounced, this was after cheating employees before I got there of a payroll. When I confronted him he said the money was deposited the night before, the problem I told him was that the bank told us no deposit had been made. I got laid off two days later but it was totally worth it. A former coworker told me the company was raided by armed Feds ten days later.

[NittanyLion]

“I’ve found some troubling discrepancies on Moveon.org’s tax exempt application, Ms. Lerner.”

[9YearLurker]

Number 9 is a riot. I wonder if anyone has ever actually attempted that.

[Cyber Liberty]

If you have to pick up these pointers from monster, you might already be in trouble because you should be able to think these up by yourself. Trying to “set your boss up” with a date (#9), for example, is the stupidest GD thing I’ve ever heard of, and how that could seem like a good idea to someone in the first place boggles my mind.

[gorush]

“Make it snappy, fatso...I’m in a hurry!” Actually that is something one shouldn’t say to a traffic cop, but is seams to work in this context as well.

[lastchance]

“I’m on top of it Rose.”

[dfwgator]

10. “Your wife left her panties at my place last night.”

[GreenHornet]

“Don’t worry...the auditors will never find out.”

[Utilizer]

Don’t worry, Bill. We reclassified all the bugs as features and Sales tells us we can sell a gazillion copies before New Years Eve.

[CodeToad]

The list assumes bosses have a brain. The vast majority of “managers” haven’t a clue what needs to be done, just that someone told them to do it.

[ßuddaßudd]

Mine was,,, “You make all the money , you tell me what happened to your file”
She wasnt happy ...