Anti-hijacker trap door among loony Ig Nobel prizes

CNET ^ | 13 September 2013 | Tim Hornyak

[rjbemsha]

Gustano A. Pizzo's Anti-hijacking System for Aircraft, an insane system of trap doors on commercial planes to capture and eject terrorists ... has finally received what it so richly deserves: an Ig Nobel prize.

Handed out at Harvard University by the Annals of Improbable Research, the annual spoof Nobels honor "achievements that first make people laugh, then make them think."

[The patent reads:] "A partition or barrier located immediately aft of the pilots cabin is adapted to be raised dividing the aft section longitudinally into port and starboard areas, the floors of which are dropped on command to lower the hijacker into a capsule in the belly of the plane. The capsule is releasable through opened bomb bay doors having attached thereto a parachute for safely returning the hijacker within the capsule to earth."

[rjbemsha]

"An anti-hijacking system for an airplane to be operated during flight," reads Pizzo's patent.

Actually, the Annals of Improbable Research at Harvard, which awards the Ig Nobel, had to reach back in time for this one. The patent was awarded in 1970.

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

A much easier solution for flight disruptions, which are usually solo efforts, can be described as an “aluminum bathtub”, underneath the floor.

Once the disruptive individual has been controlled somewhat, open the door on the floor, shove him in, then shut the door.

And everyone walk the dinosaur.

[Rodney Dangerfield]

How about a trap door that just drops them to Earth without any “assistance”?

At cruising altitude, they would die due to lack of oxygen instead of falling 30k feet while knowing the the whole time that they would splatter upon impact, unfortunately.

[Kirkwood]

I would give them a narrow little edge to hang onto until their fingers gave out.

[Some Fat Guy in L.A.]

“Yo, raghead - would you mind standing right over THERE, please”