Long see no time USC...
I have a Ruger 38 special revolver with red laser. It’s light, easy to hide, and it’s filled with hollow points. You want “knock down for sure” hollow point cartridges. The laser lets you know where that bullet is going to hit. If you had to fire it, you would be nervous so depend on the laser to get you on the target - fast and no hesitation pulling the trigger. If you have a handgun you better have already decided you will fire it when necessary, so do it. Hesitate and you won’t be able to fire it.
Ditto, GTSU. The best piece of advice on this thread was given by the poster who advised you to try as many .45's as you need to find one that's right for you.
Many of the gunshops around where I live have ranges and have rentals available for many of the weapons they sell just for the purpose of "finding the gun that's right for you."
I've been a handgun owner since 1990 and I'll tell you that handguns, rifles, shotguns, weapons in general are as "personal" in comfort and fit as a good pair of jeans or boots. You have to be comfortable with what you shoot. It has to feel right in your hand(s), you have to be able to aim it easily, the trigger must feel right, etc.. It's about the whole experience when shooting a gun.
I've already said I'm an HnK bigot because their handguns feel right in my hands. I'm a big guy, I have big hands. I like my handguns to have substantial grips on them, I don't like a heavy weapon and "feedback" from the gun for me is important.
My wife (5'4") has small hands, she cannot shoot my HnK's because the grips don't feel right for her, thus her Glock.
Oldest son (God help me for this...) is in love with a Beretta M92. We've rented one at the range and put a few hundred rounds through it. He was deadly accurate with it. I couldn't stand the grip. Frankly, everything about that weapon I hated. Conversely, oldest son can also shoot any of my HnK's and be as accurate as he was with the Beretta M92. The kid can shoot anything well which is kinda scary. He also wants to get into law enforcement.
God help us all if that happens! Can't be from my side of the family, lawbreaker that I am. ;-)