Posted on 06/28/2013 4:15:11 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Cold sore: Don’t reach for the superglue (Picture: File) A poorly (and confused) woman woke up in the middle of the night wanting to relieve her cold sores with cream – but ended up fastening her lips together after using superglue by mistake.
She was forced to call police, who feared she was a gagged hostage because she could only grunt and mumble down the phone.
The 64-year-old, from Dunedin, New Zealand, explained how she made the mistake.
‘I have all my ointments in a tray in the cupboard, so I got out of bed and I dived into the tray,’ she told New Zealand’s 3 News on condition of anonymity.
‘I couldn’t smell it because I was blocked up.
‘And then I got into bed and thought: what have I put on my mouth?’
Things didn’t get any easier once she called police.
‘I couldn’t speak on the phone, so I couldn’t tell them where I lived,’ she said. ’I couldn’t tell them my phone number.
‘The communication was “Do you live in Dunedin?” and I grunted “mmm”, and then the lady went through all the suburbs and then all the streets. She was very, very patient.
‘I had to tap on the phone, one tap for no and two taps for yes, and then it took a long time to narrow down the streets and then all the numbers too.’
Worried police sent a team of dog handlers round after believing the woman had been attacked in her home.
‘Ambulance received a call but, due to the muffled speech, they were unsure whether it was a medical event or whether someone had been gagged,’ said senior sergeant Steve Aitken.
The woman was free to talk again after the glue was removed at hospital using paraffin oil.. and is unlikely to keep superglue next to cold sore cream again.
i superglued my ear tips into points to see how i’d look as an elf, but they didn’t stay glued. i need to find something stronger. peeling it off was a little uncomfortable, but not something i’d call the ambulance for. sheesh!
I got this story confused with another news item: figured she couldn’t read cursive.
A folksinger/yarn spinner in my area used to tell the tale of a woman who glued her behind to the toilet seat. Her husband couldn’t get her loose, so he unbolted the seat and put her in the bed of his truck with a blanket thrown over her for a trip to the doctor.
Arriving at the doctor’s office, he ran inside and brought the doctor out to the truck. He then pulled off the blanket and asked, “Doc, you ever see anything like that before?”
The doctor said, “Well, yes, but never with a frame around it.”
Husband responds .... “Best Sleep I have had in years”
TT
Reminds me of that great night on the Art Bell show.
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