Have We Given Up on Good Men?

christianitytoday. ^ | Jun 21 2013 | Jamie A. Hughes

[virgil283]

......"These stereotypical portrayals can shape our perceptions off-screen, so no wonder we believe men act like children well into their 40s. We disregard men who are actually responsible and discourage men who still have some "growing up" to do. What's the impetus for taking responsibility if they've been told again and again they're no longer fit for provision, protection, and leadership? It's insulting to men themselves and the vision of manhood God designed........Perhaps the women's movement left us with a rigid mandate that says in order for women to have power, men must lose it. I don't see it so much as an "either/or" situation as I do a "both/and." In a relationship, there is a time for each member to lead and for each member to follow, but our culture has lost sight of the fact we are to "give honor" to one another......Though the world would tell us otherwise, submission has little to do with being a doormat. It's about being the steady hands that help your partner scale a mountain he or she could not climb alone.

It might not always be an easy task, but when we respect our husbands and empower them to become all God expects, we only stand to gain......"We are called to honor someone even when we know only too well their deepest character flaws." That includes the times we're kind and thoughtful as well as those when we're selfish and petty..." H/T Instapundit

[txrefugee]

Women who complain about their husbands put themselves in an equally bad light. Was this lazy bonehead the only one who would marry them? Were they so stupid that they chose to spend their lives with such losers? If so, they are losers, too.

Men have more important things to talk about, like sports.

[knarf]

And WE'RE commanded to love the sometimes unloveable.

The whole male/female conversation is so convoluted ...

If people would accept God's plan .. a man and a woman, living together making babies .. he in the field (figuratively) and she in the home ... there are no questions.

Questions arise when one or another starts to think outside of God's protection.

[Venturer]

My wife would never bad mouth me nor I, her.

She is a Saint.

I am serious. Greatest lady I ever knew.

[The Working Man]

Have We Given Up on Good Men?

---

A good thoughtful article, I applaud the author as she brings up many good points. She also mentions the role TV has had in destroying through “comedy” Men’s roles as Father’s, Partners and role models.

She also brought up a point that really struck a nerve with me it is:

“Perhaps the women’s movement left us with a rigid mandate that says in order for women to have power, men must lose it. I don’t see it so much as an “either/or” situation as I do a “both/and.”

In my first marriage my wife had such a low opinion of herself, (Now I know it was the onset of Bi-Polar), that I had to work extra hard to get her self-esteem up, often at the expense of myself and our children.

Frankly tearing down someone to build up another never works out well, (Seeing as how our government does the same thing), The first party eventually gets over it and says no more, or they are emotionally sucked dry.

In any case I recommend the article and encourage others to go to the source to read it all.

[Pollster1]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBwS66EBUcY

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the Gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn
And I dream of what I need

I need a hero,
I’m holding out for a hero
‘Til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero,
I’m holding out for a hero
‘Til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life (Larger than life)

Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There’s someone reaching back for me

Racing on the thunder
And rising with the heat
It’s gonna take a Superman
To sweep me off my feet

I need a hero,
I’m holding out for a hero
‘Til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero,
I’m holding out for a hero
‘Til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

I need a hero,
I’m holding out for a hero
‘Til the end of the night

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I could swear that there’s someone somewhere watching me

Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood

I need a hero,
I’m holding out for a hero ‘Til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero,
I’m holding out for a hero ‘Til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

---

Songs like this are big hits because men want to be seen this way, and women want to see their men this way. It disappoints me when people choose to wallow in failure and negativity instead of building on their strengths and looking for positives to admire.

[jsanders2001]

> My wife would never bad mouth me nor I, her.

Same here. If the person opening their mouths could see how they appear to other people when they do that they’d zip it. Its one thing to blow off a little steam and complain to your own family members if youre having som problems with your spouse; its a completely different thing to paint your spouse in a bad light to your friends in an open environment for all to hear.

[TalBlack]

“It might not always be an easy task, but when we respect our husbands and empower them to become...”

Any male requiring some process of “empowering” isn’t a Man.

[Jonty30]

Part of the problem is that most men don’t really know how to be men any more.

The concept of being complete is lost on most.

[Northern Yankee]

I have a few co-workers who constantly complain about their husbands. I continue to be blessed with a loving wife.

I've never thought it good practice to complain about a spouse at work. Doesn't solve anything and I actually think it creates sympathy for the spouse who's being attacked.

[Northern Yankee]

Amen to that, brother!

We are blessed.

[melsec]

Ya get what you say. In general a woman that is prepared to whine about her husband may be getting the husband she deserves (of course there is a percentage who are just bad men) My wife has always spoken nothing but good of me (not they I always deserved it)- I have tried to live up to her bragging. I wonder if she had been a back biting bitch whether I would have lived down to her bitching.

[Springfield Reformer]

God wouldn’t have created Eve if Adam didn’t come up short without her. A good wife is a force multiplier. I have no problem with the idea she “empowers” me.

[Mercat]

I hope she pushed back and called them on it. She doesn’t say in the article.

[9YearLurker]

It’s not just on the home front.

Women are expected to agree with each other, once the men are out of the room, as to how they are keeping ‘us’ down in the workplace.

As to the accuracy of that perception? I’ve no doubt that it is sometimes so, but not nearly as often as perceived and for those who perceive it there is often reason why they individually have been ‘kept down’.

[Neoliberalnot]

Homowood has simply attacked the masculine male and replaced him with the disease ridden queer. Whatever homowood and the old media monopoly sell, most people will buy.

[Dr. Sivana]

I'm not sure when father stopped knowing best, but the first "dumb dude" I remember is Homer Simpson.

This authoress must be quite young. This problem of the portrayal of men in television goes back near the very beginning.

Ralph Kramden in "The Honeymooners" was an extremely important show, and Jackie Gleason's Ralph Kramden was an obnoxious, rude, self-centered loudmouth. Alice had more common sense and wherewithal, shrewish only when driven to it. Even before The Honeymooners, Gleason played Chester REilly, more or less a bumbler, in Life of Reilly (later replaced more successfully by William Bendix).

Kramden's cartoon descendant was Fred Flintstone, and The Simpsons owes some of its inspiration to that early TV cartoon.

Men were on the receiving end from wives and girlfriends in Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, Blondie, Get Smart, and later All in the Family and the Sonny and Cher Variety Show come to mind.

Counter-examples from the era would include Burns and Allen (George was generally one step ahead of his brilliantly ditzy wife, and always showed affection for her), I Love Lucy (Ricky was only sometimes the goof), My Three Sons (Fred McMurray as a widower who is generally wise, compassionate, reserved and fatherly), Andy Griffith and the Dick Van Dyke Show.

Part of the problem is that comedy has to employ irony and dissonance to work ("dog bites man" is not funny, "Man bites dog" is). What happens when children watch these types of programs for hours on end? The caricature becomes the "new normal". Also, the new characters are not played so over the top (compared with say, the Three Stooges) that they are obviously the exception.

This characterization even predates television. The aforementioned "Blondie" comic strip goes back to the '20s.

These comedies were offset also by westerns and crime dramas where the men were almost platonic ideals. Bonanza's Ben Cartwright, Dragnet's Jack Friday (horribly lampooned decades later by Dan Aykroyd), Perry Mason, Dr. Kildare, Secret Agent's John Drake come to mind. Maybe there are similar counterparts in today's television. I wouldn't know.

[SamAdams76]

A real man does not concern himself with how pop culture portrays his gender in TV ads, sitcoms, etc. Nor does he concern himself with what women blab to each other about when they get together. After all, groups of men standing around the grill or sitting around drinking beers pretty much blab nonsense amongst themselves as well. Collectively the IQ drops when groups of men (or women) get together and those conversations need not be taken seriously.

[HomeAtLast]

My best friend is a very wealthy lady. Her son walked to work and back to earn his own money to buy his first car. It was two hours of walking every day, five days a week.
She could have bought him a new car every month, or a new house, or the store he worked at.
Instead she taught him to walk. To be responsible and self-sufficient.
He doesn’t think he’s a hero, but I think he is.

[muir_redwoods]

Much heartache could be avoided if both men and women stopped expecting the other sex to be just like them intellectually or emotionally. We are different, very different in some respects but equal. I for one like it that way.