Marriage Damaged by Porn: A Pastor’s Reflections

Breaking Free ^ | Post Information Wednesday, June 19th, 2013 | Dr. T. C. Ryan

[Resettozero]

Recently I was asked about a very difficult situation.

A woman has been married to a man with a long-term addiction to pornography. The last few years he’s been trying to stop, but by his own efforts alone. When she asks him if he’s struggling he will deny it. She finds out he’s using again and then has the double-hurt of his use and his lying.

At one point, with her husband’s permission, she talked with their pastor (who is also her husband’s brother) about this situation. He told her that her husband had to seek help (true) and that there was nothing he could do (not necessarily true). He then said a prayer. If her hope was for anything more than that, she was disappointed.

She concluded this part of her story (there is another piece of the story we’ll take up in subsequent post) by saying “this problem has gone on for so long I don’t talk to my husband about it anymore.”

[metmom]

What platitudes?

Do you understand what a platitude is?

And you’re changing the subject anyway. I didn’t say a thing about whether women divorced their husbands due to porn addiction.

[metmom]

Every man, even you own father, has “taken things into his own” hands. Every man. Every. Single. Last. one of them.

We're not talking about that either.

[central_va]

A platitude is a trite, meaningless, biased, or prosaic statement, often presented as if it were significant and original.

[metmom]

I made several comments in that post. Which one is the platitude?

[central_va]

Ok feel free to replace the word platitude with bull$h!t in my post. I was trying to be nice.

[metmom]

plat·i·tude /ˈplatiˌt(y)o͞od/ Noun A remark or statement, esp. one with a moral content, that has been used too often to be interesting or thoughtful. The quality of being dull, ordinary, or trite. ************************************************************** Now, which statement of mine was often used?

[metmom]

Just to refresh your memory, here are my comments in post 157........

“Hey, Jesus Himself said that a man looking on a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. I didn’t think that one up.

The only difference between the thought and acting on it is the level of self-control of the individual.

I never heard whether there are any statistics on it, but I would not be surprised to find that men who use porn have a higher incidence of affairs. They’ve already demonstrated a willingness to cheat on their wives mentally.”

Now, which one is BS?

[central_va]

which statement of mine was often used?

Which one wasn't?

[central_va]

I would not be surprised to find that men who use porn have a higher incidence of affairs. They’ve already demonstrated a willingness to cheat on their wives mentally.

That is a platitude.

[metmom]

” Jesus Himself said that a man looking on a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” is BS?

Who knew?

[metmom]

No, that's an opinion.

I did not say that men who used porn did have a higher incidence of divorce, as if it were a fact.

I said, I would not be surprised to find that men who use porn have a higher incidence of affairs. They’ve already demonstrated a willingness to cheat on their wives mentally.

That puts it in the category of opinion and speculation.

I freely admit that and never claimed otherwise.

[central_va]

Jesus Himself said that a man looking on a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” is BS?

So are you saying that the Muzzies have it right, go buy a Burkha and tempt no more!

[metmom]

correction: I did not say that men who used porn did have a higher incidence of divorce affairs, as if it were a fact.

[metmom]

Blaming the woman again, eh?

Now THAT’s muzzie thinking.

[central_va]

Well I asked YOU if the Muzzies have it right? Read the question.

[metmom]

FWIW, it’s clear by the accounts we constantly hear from muzzie countries that wearing a burka is not a solution to men looking on women with lustful intent.

[metmom]

JESUS is the one who said that.

If you have problems with that, you need to take it up with HIM.

[central_va]

accounts we constantly hear from muzzie countries that wearing a burka

Really? What account is that? I would say that looking at burka women is about the most depressing anti_sexual thing I can think if. Seems to work perfectly.

[2nd amendment mama]

Why do keep on insisting that it’s the wife to blame? This attitude disgusts me! You keep on saying that she’s not “filling his need”, etc. Could it be that this article is hitting close to home on your part and you believe that your wife is to blame for the problems in your marriage? You can’t seem to attribute any of the blame to the husband.

[metmom]

Sure. That explains the over-sexualization of muzzie men and all the gang rapes, doesn’t it?