Tax Chick is far more wise than me but I will give it my best shot. Okay... here goes. Your friend can’t tell anyone where or when they can move. That being said, I totally agree with some guidelines and limited expectations. Perhaps... this woman has turned over a new leaf and truly wants to get to know her grandkids. It may not be HOW the family totally expects a grandparent to act, but not all grandparents act the same way. I say this with an open heart. My kids don’t have any grandparents so my judgement may be a bit clouded here. They would have loved some contact vs none at all. I would suggest that the parents keep their conversations/fears out of the kid’s ears right now.
It all has to do with power. The parents can limit or extend visitation at any time. They can invite or not. They can also set the stage (so to speak) to open up a possible great relationship between this woman and her grandkids. I have known people who don’t necessarily get along great with a mother-in-law BUT the same woman was adored and worshipped by her grandkids. Again, a Grammy that quilts, bakes cookies and is a sweetheart to EVERYONE is somewhat fiction if you ask me. Good luck to your friends and again... they hold the power by simply saying no or restricting contact. Hugs, Mom
Very, very wise advice from momtothree.
I just want to add one piece of advice to it: prayer.