Posted on 05/17/2013 5:43:53 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
So, I woke up this morning, and the birds were singing, the sun was shining and all was right in the world. The high today is supposed to be 78°, with a slight chance of cooling.
I drove into work, where everyone is paid according to their ability, and I didn't see
any illegals anywhere, because they've all been deported and the new Immigration laws have closed our borders and made sure no one can or will break the laws to get in illegally again. And it especially helps since they put in that new moat with alligators down there...
I listened to the radio and hear everyone talking about how great our government is. How wonderful it is, to know we have honest and decent men and women, upholding out Constitution and keeping checks and balances on each other, to make sure it stays strong and small and protects this country from outside threats. And it's great that they've rolled back all progressive legislation, regulations and laws, so they reflect the Constitution at it's core.
It warms my heart that freedom reigns and people can say what they want, where they want and practice their religion in whatever way they deem necessary, as long as it harms no one else. It is also great to know, we live in a country where everyone takes pride in being "An American" and it is now required that every home owns a gun.
As I drive down the street, I notice the American flag waiving at most every door. Schools now have set aside a special time each day to say the Pledge of Allegiance and for students to read from the bible.
In fact, now that schools have been given back to the local communities to control, I am thankful that they now require American/US History and Civics to be taught, along with a full course on the Constitution and Declaration of Independence.
And it's also great to see that businesses are no longer taxed or regulated, and the free market is helping the economy boom. I filled up on my way in to work and gas was back to $.99 a gallon. It's expected to go lower, now that we are drilling and extracting our own natural resources here in America. It's nice not to ever have to depend on foreign countries ever again for that stuff. In fact, it's quite ironic that they now depend on us....
I can't wait to get paid on Friday. Now that I only have to pay a 10% flat tax, I have more money and I can take my family on a nice trip to Disneyland. I can also afford to go shopping and buy more things that we need.
Anyway, now that most of us in America have realized what a great country it is, and it's easier and better to get along and work together, there's less crime and violence. And since politicians are no longer allowed to campaign for more than 2 months and are restricted from holding office for more than 2 years, there's no more negativity and divisiveness. No more racism rants or lobbying to special interests. Now, we actually get politicians who are honest and sincere about doing their job to represent the people.
And since they arrested pretty much every Democrat in DC and many of the Republicans too, this country has become greater than it ever has. Corruption is no longer tolerated at any level. Faith, honor and truth have been restored.
See....if they can live in delusion land....so can I. Except in my delusion, everything is right. In their delusion everything is evil and wrong.
1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2) - Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don’t have ocean
all round you, you are incontinent. (Emily, age 7)
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson.
She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5) - A dolphin breaths through an ******* on the top of its head... (Billy, age
6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots
and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean.
Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the
wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.
(William, age 7)
- Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like
their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?
(Helen, age 6)
9) - I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying,
my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant,
so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a
shock.. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have
to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy
small. (Kevin, age 6)
12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go
down alone, so they have to go down on each other. ( Becky, age
13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going
very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her
big fat a$$. (Julie, age 7)
14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t
know. (Bobby, age 6)
15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean He knows all about the ocean. What he
doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
(James, age 7)
Back when my sister was a teenager she learned to water ski. One day my Dad decided he wanted to try to ski. So he told my Mom when he said OK to ease the boat forward to get the rope tight and when he was ready he would yell “GO!” and she was to open the throttle.
Dad said OK, Mom opened the throttle all the way, the rope pulled taut and snapped, and almost pulled Dad’s shoulders out of the sockets.
Dad never did learn to water ski.
I’m sorry to say I was raised in the same county as that idiot.
Hell, my ancestors lived there since about 1720.
Someone posted Marine’s only hold umbrellas for ladies, and bath house barry is our first gay president.
I’d post a pick of the d^^^head, but I think it would be removed.
LOL!!
Kinda like the episode of “Untold Stories of the ER” where the guy came in with his member stuck inside a camp stove. Seems his girlfriend told him to stick it in there and she would go underneath and give him pleasure orally. When “it” grew it got stuck.
Another episode had a couple show up in the ER and he was having the Viagra reaction, the 5 hour erection. As he is laying there on the bed moaning in pain with the woman beside him.......
His wife shows up.
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