I am too. What did it for me was AA and living with other people. If I live alone or if I am left alone for more than a few days, fooorget it. The urge is insane to drink. It’s very bizarre because when I am with my family, or my GF , I have absolutely no desire. But if they go away for a weekend or whatever, it hits me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere and I can spend all day trying to resist. Something they never advertise about alcoholism is what an incredible time waster it is. When I was at my worst, the years flew by like seconds. And BTW, good screen name LOL! That was me, but it was more like “Joe case”
I actually live about 1250 miles from my nearest relatives, and maintain a pretty small circle of friends, but fortunately the compulsion and desire to drink has largely faded, but I know it's always lurking somewhere in the background like a caged rabid rat just waiting for the opportunity to get out; it's pretty good incentive to regularly and scrupulously inspect the cage to make sure it's in good working order.
I have been listening to a series on prayer by Charles Stanley. Talking about getting on your knees when that whispering in the ear starts, and as a child of God, the power He will surround you with cannot be overcome. Something to think about.
I only suffer from nail biting and chronic pain, so I can’t imagine the struggle of addiction. I raised my kids to understand that for hard drugs if you never try them you never battle the addiction, and for the socially acceptable drugs, don’t overindulge. We have been blessed in that department.