“Who should play you trapped in your house?”
Well, Ronald Reagan and John Wayne aren’t available, so I’d go with Nick Kroll in full Ruxin mode.
The sex scene would be: We’re drinking red wine out of empty beers cans waiting to be “rescued”...irma-time begins.
Keri Russell as your GF? ;D
It seems that Magic Johnson is the Jr., his “son” is Earvin the third, guess there will not be a 4th one. His sperm are too gay to fertilize an egg even through in-vitro, they would say “eww”, migrate the to anus and throw a themed cocktail party.