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How to survive the sequester (it will be worse than Y2K and Climate change both put together)
SOL of course | 2/18/13 | SOL

Posted on 02/28/2013 7:56:18 PM PST by sickoflibs

This really has me terrified. I don't know it our country will survive this. We have about 1 hour before sequester hits the East Coast and most Americans are mostly unaware of it.

We cant fault our President Obama.
He has been traveling around the country speaking in political rallies warning us of the worst if it hits, but they just wont listen. They wont listen!

Only an emergency tax increase bill could save us now and the GOP just wont do it. They don't care. They don't care.

The only thing comparable is how Noah warned of the coming flood and was ignored and most of the human race drowned.
I am worried about the vampires coming out after the military and police are furloughed. And all the mass killers let loose after the power goes off in the prisons and the guards are furloughed.

So what can we do now??

1) Store Bottled water and dry food
2) candles matches and firewood
3) Guns, but please do it safely and wait for the universal background check or you might use it to commit suicide
4) Go in your basement if you have one and hide under a strong table
5) garlic to hold off the vampires
6) A floatation device in case the tidal wave floods your basement.
7) If you have a car with gas flee Maryland, DC and Northern Va right now, as Sequester will hit that area the hardest.

Good luck and good bless, I have loved you all even the ones who cursed me. By the way, why don't you last group stay behind?


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: doomsday; movedthread; obamatheseer; sequester; sequestration; stillalive; thisisbreakingnews; thisisfrontpagenews; wearedoomed
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To: tiki
They may harm some apples, but leave me the birds and the bees... plee-ee-ease!
41 posted on 02/28/2013 8:30:40 PM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: sickoflibs

It takes a village to survive something like this.


42 posted on 02/28/2013 8:30:40 PM PST by O6ret
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To: dalereed

Are to..are to!

Next you are gonna try to tell me there is no Santa Clause.


43 posted on 02/28/2013 8:30:48 PM PST by berdie
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To: sickoflibs

Was there Paraquat on that weed?


44 posted on 02/28/2013 8:31:42 PM PST by FishinTX (Waiting on the second shot heard around the world.)
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To: sickoflibs

Not me. I’m fully prepared. I wrapped tin-foil around my whole house to deflect the sequester. A spork weasel guards each entrance. And my beeber-like debice is set to stune.

I am totally prepared for the sequester.


45 posted on 02/28/2013 8:32:59 PM PST by BuckeyeTexan (There are those that break and bend. I'm the other kind.)
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To: ConservativeInPA

Does the special place have 71 virgins?


46 posted on 02/28/2013 8:34:20 PM PST by kiltie65
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To: sickoflibs
I've been practicing banjo, and pulled out my missing sister's accordian to learn to play.

If we're all going to die, there should be horrible music.

/johnny

47 posted on 02/28/2013 8:34:37 PM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: ConservativeInPA

Does the special place have 71 virgins?


48 posted on 02/28/2013 8:34:47 PM PST by kiltie65
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To: sickoflibs
"Sequestered?"

'There are going to be cut's!!!'

Oh Noes!!


49 posted on 02/28/2013 8:38:17 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: sickoflibs
I already flushed my sequester down the toilet.

Should I be concerned?
50 posted on 02/28/2013 8:38:31 PM PST by jy8z (From the next to last exit before the end of the internet.)
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To: berdie

“Next you are gonna try to tell me there is no Santa Clause.”

I know damn well there isn’t!!

I caught my parents playing Santa Claus 72 years ago and when I got to kintergarden a year and a half later I made sure every dumb shit in the class knew also!


51 posted on 02/28/2013 8:39:00 PM PST by dalereed
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To: BuckeyeTexan

And if all that doesn’t work, I have a bunny with a pancake on its head.


52 posted on 02/28/2013 8:39:24 PM PST by BuckeyeTexan (There are those that break and bend. I'm the other kind.)
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To: kiltie65
Does the special place have 71 virgins?

Only 69.

53 posted on 02/28/2013 8:40:13 PM PST by ConservativeInPA (Molon Labe - Shall not be questioned)
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To: dalereed

I heard there might not be enough money for the sun to come up tomorrow.

I heard a new song “Sequester’s not my son”


54 posted on 02/28/2013 8:40:25 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: FishinTX
RE :”Was there Paraquat on that weed?”

Great point I forgot, store lots of weed!

55 posted on 02/28/2013 8:40:41 PM PST by sickoflibs (Losing to Dems and Obama is not a principle! Its just losing.)
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To: Tenacious 1
Small children should be broiled or roasted. Larger children should be braised.

Children that pull a weapon on you, utter curse words and disappear into the darkness should be left alone.

That's all I've got from my ancient latin recipes from the Roman empire as it was falling.

/johnny

56 posted on 02/28/2013 8:41:04 PM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: berdie
Next you are gonna try to tell me there is no Santa Clause

That depends on whether it was exempted by a Sequester Clause

57 posted on 02/28/2013 8:42:29 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: JRandomFreeper

Ahhh...the Sonata for Banjo and Accordian. My favorite.

I danced to it at my wedding.


58 posted on 02/28/2013 8:43:28 PM PST by berdie
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To: sickoflibs

85,000,000,000 / 3,700,000,000,000 = hugh! and series!


59 posted on 02/28/2013 8:44:31 PM PST by kevao (.)
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To: sickoflibs

Need cheese for the moose.


60 posted on 02/28/2013 8:44:39 PM PST by razorback-bert (I'm in shape. Round is a shape isn't it?)
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