Posted on 01/30/2013 10:23:05 AM PST by Lazamataz
First, please click on this music link. This is a necessary part of the effect. Got it playing? Good! Now proceed with my Opus.
I have finally decided that enough is enough. This is my "oh,piss".
The reasons I am leaving Free Republic are three:
WAYCISM: Everyone is so RACIST on Free RepubliKKK. You all constantly post "Must be the Amish" and "Oh, those Amish again" or "Definitely the Amish" when some inner-city hoodlum starts with the shenannigans. That is so WAY RACIST that I call it "WAYSIS"!
I happen to BE an Amish, and I am tired of being blamed for everything. This is a picture of me on my bike.
I have heard it conjectured that the word "Amish" is a code word referring to a person of color, but I can prove that this is not true. Here is a picture of my Amish friend Jebediah. He is my BEST FRIEND and the Best Man in my wedding:
LACK OF ENDORSEMENT OF HOMOSEXUALITY: Then there is the fact that you are all on the wrong side of history (and the shower-soap) when it comes to butterfly-bowel-love. When it comes to homosexuality, we should be sensitive and loving to the giggling little donut-punchers. Never insult the pearl-necklace adorned tumblebunnies, or demean the limp-wristed prancing knob-jockeys in any way. There is nothing wrong with being a petal-covered swishing basket-burglar! If you are an effeminate queenie-baby genuflecting chicken licker, BE PROUD! Discrimination is no longer allowed to be directed at loafer-lightening grass-tickling pounders of fudge. NEVER! No, sir!It is time that we embrace the stool-pushed jolly-ranching graduates of the Assmasters school of backseat driving! Let us once and for all, put aside the prejudice against pink-sequin-adorned squeeze-friendly rectum-flagelators! Why must Free Republic be so hostile to Barbie hugging Broadway-showgirl tootsie-roll-eating lizard worshipers? The hostility I see exhibited to rump-radar-pinging, butterbutt loving, feathered drag princesses horrific, on this forum. There is no way that crisco-hoarding, rainbow-prancing, Fucsia Puffed batty boys deserve this sort of treatment. Can we STOP being so cruel to glitter-loving tail-tickling Cleveland Steamer pooftahs? Can we EVER be civil to three-dollar-bill-collecting rollerblading fan-TAS-tic sword swallowers? Why can't Free Republic be kinder to gerbil-feeding flower sniffing rainbow-squatting bottoms-up boys? This forum is so cruel to chalk-licking lavender sniffing cheeky merrymonkey pole-vaulters! Why are we so cruel to silent-screaming bed-bouncing pump-wearing butt pilots??!? It is wrong to single out and criticize the feminine-acting, stick-twiddling parade-marching ball-jugglers. They cannot help it that they are merrily-hopping NPR-listening musical-favoring chin-trauma patients. Do not ever again mock the whinnying crochet-loving sweetwater flaming mushroom-polishers and the sweetly-flaming pole-licking sequin-wearing arsehole patrollers.
So, it is clear that you are ALL on the wrong side of history and morality, and it is time that I must leave Free Republic because of it.
EXCESSIVE VIOLINS:
You are all so violet here on Free Republic. There is so much violins! I see violin talk ALL THE TIME on this forum. People talk about 'stringing people up' and 'making them face music' and 'fingering their necks' all the time. They talk about 'drawing a bow' across them, and 'playing them like a fiddle', and other such violin references. I cannot take the violins here any more.
This is so sad. I am sad because things didn't go my way. Maybe something didn't work out the way I hoped. My feelings got hurt. I feel sad that someone let me down, left me out, or hurt my feelings with something he or she said. I lost something special. Maybe I lost something that was special to me. Or maybe my favorite shirt got shrunk in the wash and now I can't wear it anymore. I miss someone. I might feel sad when I'm missing someone or have to say goodbye. Maybe my favorite friend moved to a new state, or my big brother went away to college, or my parent is away on vacation. I heard about something sad. I might feel sad when I watch a sad movie, read a sad part in a book, or someone tells me about a sad thing that happened. If someone I care about is sad, I might feel sad, too. And what if someone dies> It's natural to feel sad if someone dies, like a close relative, or I lose a pet. That kind of sadness has a special name — grief. A problem makes me sad. Problems like bullying, friendship troubles, or difficult work schedules can sometimes make me feel sad.
So, it is so hard to leave, but I must, because Free Republic was SO MUCH BETTER before, and now it is SO MUCH WORSE. In fact, it was SO MUCH BETTER mere seconds ago, and now it is SO MUCH WORSE a few seconds from now. Every second that ticks by, Free Republic just imploded completely, because you all are so awful, and I am so great. I really am so great. Here I am, as a matter of fact.
I’m just teasing.
Ba da boom ba da ping!
Ich bien ‘Nein’ Free Republic?
PRETENDED??!?
It didn’t come to fisticuffs. ;-)
That is because your husband broke through the roof of the cottage late the first night, and, dangling from a steel cable and dressed entirely in black, lowered himself to where he could cover my mouth with one hand, and, drawing his knife, held the blade to my neck with the other hand, and growled quietly "One wrong move with T.O.L. and I will finish this job."
Admit it...you found it somehow...kinda hot...;)
Yes! I am so looking forward to the next shoot.
That is an interesting video, the Laz Theme Song! Nice.
I’m just going along with your teasing, sweetie. ;-)
I must admit I’ve lost count of all the anti-FR fora over the years. How all the bitterly banned keep them straight I’ll never know.
But yes, back to the grave dancing. I must leave soon (this new job with a 1 hr 30 min commute one way is really kicking me in the keister.).
This was a great way to end the night though, thanks Laz! You remain the master!
So... You didn't cut yourself shaving after all! I knew it!
At least he didn’t pull a Braveheart on you. Those flails really sting when they cave in your skull.
It really IS a glorious day. A long term troll has been terminated!!!
And he accused me of becoming obsessive. He is absolutely right. I get quite obsessive, compulsive even, over trolls. I will dog them until they are died up real good.
Just remove the singing of "love me again" and replace it with "You'll get the zot... You'll get the zot... I promise you this... you'll right the lightning before..... the day, is over...."
Just checking. :p
It could be he’s just gone Emo on us.
If Laz proclaims a sudden love for the Cure and starts wearing women’s jeans, fishnet gloves and eyeliner...we’ll know for sure...
I wish my lawn was Emo...so it would cut itself...
I have long maintained and will go to my digital grave maintaining that all of us need to police our own ranks when they go full metal DU. Kinda hypocritical of us to expect principle and doing the right thing out of our elected pols when we let the bs slide at ground level.
The less troll BS, the faster we can get our collective feces together and accomplish something positive for the country. And if anyone has a problem with that idea, they ARE the problem I’m talking about.
LOL I love that video! Alright, I must go! 5am is comin up quick. Haha
How do I log off again? :)
You gotta keep posting until the drool from your sleeping/snoring mouth clogs up the keyboard and the comp spontaneously reboots.
I usually fall asleep with my head resting sideways on the keys to minimize the problem....
LOL. It’s a good thing Melas is gone because I don’t think he’d like your opus very much.
No, Laz is a very together, manly man, and not a trace of emo. And he’s right about Bryan, my husband. I tell guys to ignore his scowl, but not everyone is able to.
He has quite a scary visage when it comes to other men paying attention to me, LOL! And he’s kinda big - I love big guys - and strong.
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