:D
Posted on 01/12/2013 8:28:55 PM PST by Altariel
1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.
4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it..
5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.
6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.
7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.
8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.
9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)
10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.
11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.
12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.
13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television.
14. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
15. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.
16. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.
17. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
18. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.
19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.
20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.
21. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
Here’s an idea…
Put your car keys beside your bed at night.
If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It’s a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won’t stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won’t want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.
Dobermans have a way of speaking a language criminals can understand very well, and they’re so generous as to do everything in their power to save you the trouble of doing so.
;)
Time to cut down on their beer rations. ;)
24. I wear a badge.
"Now now, stop that blubbering and start reciting the dialogue to Blazing Saddles backwards. ... Well, you'll just have to remember now won't you?"
I always wanted an alligator.
(Legal disclaimer: Not that alligators have anything to do with talking to burglars.) ;-)
LOL!
I’ve always thought about that.
I can see my front door from the sofa and they’d have to get through it another locked steel security door to actually get in the house.
Once inside the second door, they’d be running a virtual gauntlet of Boas and Balls, staring at them from 2 rows of large glass fronted condos.
Probably 99% of burglars would alert me with their girlish shrieks of terror.
[especially if big ol’ Bella happens to be hungry...she will hit the Lexan full force if anybody but me walks by when she imagines she’s ‘starving’]
The one I’d pick for ‘fun with thieves’ is 7’+/19 pound Bob, though.
He’s super “friendly” and just loves to crawl all over people and give ‘em really strong, chummy “hugs”.
[and if they panicked and got jumpy and he felt ‘insecure’, he’d just squeeze harder so he won’t fall]
Come to think of it, a person would have to be freakin’ nutz to break in, here.
;D
The first Boa I ever bought was from a science professor at Shippensburg College.
I examined her in a storage room on the campus while a 5’ gator was twining around my feet.
He lived loose in the room and had his own kiddy size swimming pool.
That was...interesting.
Nice gator, though.
Never snapped or anything.
:D
It's not just a tactical strategy ... IT'S A LIFESTYLE! ;-) LOL
Nice gator, though. Never snapped or anything.
It's always so nice to visit you. You make the best cookies and your large predators are so polite!
Yeppers, I believe in living pro-actively. I'm not hunkered down planning defensive strategies for intruders. I'm ready for opportunity to knock on my door bringing me hours of unexpected entertainment. ;^)
Probably 99% of burglars would alert me with their girlish shrieks of terror.
Worth twice the price of admission. lol
That’s my beloved Belle Boid.
[LOL]
She is an absolute sweetheart.
She knows it’s feeding day and has been desperately trying to get my attention all afternoon.
I’ve been opening her door and gently stroking her head and back every time I go by.
She sure loves her massages.
That temporarily satisfies her while her frozen dinner is thawing out.
[it takes a while]
This is Bob T. Boa.
He's also a gentle giant but unlike Bella, who is content to simply wrap around me and spend quality time watching TV, Bob has places to go and things to do.
When Bella's on their climbing tree, she pretty much just sits up there and watches the world go by.
Bob is all over it exploring and then when that bores him, he'll slither down from the tree and head for the nearest other object, usually one of the exercise equipment.
When that bores him, he'll either back go up the tree or down onto the floor where I have to get up and fetch him.
[it's too cold on the floor for him]
*Sometimes* he'll be in a quiet mood and just slither around the bed for a while but usually, he's very active and gets into everything.
When he goes to the pet store, he shoplifts things while I'm not looking.
When I check out, I end up pulling all the snake-useless things he's got coiled up in his tail, like hamster water bottles, stuffed dog toys, etc.
I have no idea what he thinks he's going to do with them.
“I was a bit of a little Steve Irwin when I was a kid. Poor Mom.”
Both of my parents are snake phobics, my dad extremely so.
Baling hay was always an impromptu cardiac stress test for him because as you know, hay fields are *full* of fascinating serpents.
If I live to be 1000, I’ll never forget the look on his face as he turned the tractor around at the other end of the field and saw me trying to unwrap an 8 foot rat snake from a fence post.
I had a good 6 feet of her worked loose and up in the air when I saw him.
He was a whiter shade of pale and standing up on the tractor screaming God knows what at me.
[actually, I can guess... DROP THAT ^@%$#*&^!!! snake right now!!!”]
I just smiled and waved.
By the time he got to my side of the field, the snake had gotten away.
Dammit.
It was nice one.
I was constantly dragging snakes home.
Then there the was the time I had a Copperhead hatchling in a mayonnaise jar in my bedroom....
;D
The size and variety of snakes in CO is pretty limited so a four footer was pretty sensational for me. I would have preferred a bit snakier environment at the time. Some swamps with Bull Frogs would have been nice too but whaterya gonna do? Had I found any rattlesnakes I'm sure I would have collected them up and tamed them as well. That probably would have been the straw that broke the parent-child relationship.
She's a double het Jeff Gee Albino/Sunglow but not "visual" so she just looks like a regular Boa.
Then there's Eva Marie Snake who's a juvenile Super Hypo Jungle
And Veronica, a Kahl Albino
And Ruby, a common Colombian Boa in her 'light phase'.
[Ruby was a 'cheap snake' because she bit her former owner and was being handled with thick leather gloves. She's been nothing but an extremely sweet, gentle snake to me. Maybe she just didn't like him much or sensed he was afraid of her]
I was not aware of the relative lack of snakes in CO.
We have all kinds here but you rarely see them alive.
People wantonly kill snakes out of fear and ignorance.
At least one black Rat Snake comes in upstairs occasionally and likes to wrap around my ankles.
I've seen a Milk Snake up there, too.
[old log houses are pretty much impossible to seal up very well]
The thinnest ice I've probably ever skated on was bringing a very angry groundhog into the kitchen....:)
We have amphibians of every sort.
Obviously, salamanders are very high on my favorites list.
My parents' property is full of descendants of amphibians I rescued from the mountain roads at night during mating season.
People just ran them down with no concern at all so I started gathering up the survivors and bringing them home.
Their sounds in their back yard, on summer nights, is positively deafening...LOL
They change color with moods and seasons.
I have never heard of so many varieties. Are those captive-bred hybrids or natural species variations?
I'm afraid CO, due to being high, dry and cold, has a lack of plants and animals, both numbers and species, relative to other regions. The welcome aspect of that for humans is the minimal insect life. The downside being that insects are major din din for a lot of our scaly and water-loving friends.
They’re captive bred morphs of ‘normal’ Boa Constrictor Imperator but they all came from wild caught natural color/pattern mutations somewhere back in time.
Even though all BCIs are BCIs, there’s many different “localities”, each with slightly different colors, patterns and even physical shapes and sizes.
With generations of genetic experimentation, people have discovered heterozygous genes that produce homozygous “visual” morphs, such as the albinos.
Here are some of them.
http://www.classreptilia.com/boa_morphs.htm
And that ain’t nuthin’.
Ball Pythons are nature’s infinite palettes.
There are over a thousand different varieties, now.
Have a look at this and be amazed at what simple little snakes caught in the wild have produced.
http://www.worldofballpythons.com/morphs/
No other animal can do this and that list grows monthly as people discover new recessive genes.
They’re truly one of nature’s miracles.
I’m awaiting the arrival of a Sunglow male for my girls as they all carry dominant/recessive genes that will make really cool babies...:)
CO sounds kind of barren for me.
I’m used to a bazillion different critters running around all the time.
[and now, I’m even grateful to have our innumerable annoying bugs]...LOL
I am sure you would find CO barren in comparison to the hill country you're used to. It is what it is. It might be a real kick to you for bike riding but not so much critter wise.
It’s almost unbelievable if you didn’t see it yourself.
There’s lots of really great breeders out there but my favorite Mendelian maniac is Kevin McCurley of NERD Reptiles.
http://newenglandreptile.com/nerd/
He started out as an awkward geeky kid who had tanks of snakes in his room and became one of the rock stars of BP genetics.
http://raphaelsblog.tumblr.com/post/21376508822/kevin-mccurley-tries-to-explain-how-the-soul
On the herp forums, he drives people crazy when he comes up with some amazing new morph and won’t tell people what all the ‘ingredients’ are.
It used to be that a 3 gene animal was awe inspiring...he’s working with 6+ genes as “normal” now.
Almost constantly, bags of captured wild BPs arrive and the breeders go pick through them looking for unusual patterns/colors and they’re constantly discovering new morph possibilities.
I’ve tried to follow it all but it’s become nearly impossible to keep up.
The cool thing is that when somebody creates something nobody else has yet, that snake can sell for up $50K.
Just 2 years ago, we saw a Pied Albino at Repticon with a price tag of $25K.
Now they’re available for less than $1K.
The name of the game is make something totally new and cash out on it before another breeder figures out what your formula is.
The whole industry is part rock show, part serious genetic science, part intrigue, part Las Vegas, part adventure and wholly fun to watch happening.
It’s like God made a lowly, normally drab critter who’s the genetic equivalent of a full Panatone chart and said “Now go wild”.
One breeder recently discovered the “Sunset” gene and introduced red into BPs, which hadn’t been done before.
He didn’t realize what he had until *after* he’d sold a bunch of het-for-Sunset babies off at a trade show for pet prices.
Somewhere, a slew of unwitting kids have some very, *very* expensive pets.
:)
http://snakebytes.tumblr.com/post/27407117576/the-sunset-ball-python-has-been-an-interesting-journey
Brian has a really good channel on YouTube called SnakeBytesTV.
He and his crew are hilarious.
Thanks, Salamander. I had no idea this wild world of pythons and boas existed.
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