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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)
1-11-13
| Lucky9teen
Posted on 01/11/2013 4:24:19 AM PST by Lucky9teen
A guy cruises thru a stop sign and gets pulled over by a local policeman. Guy hands the cop his drivers license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit.
Okay, Mr. Smith, the cop says. I see your CCW permit. Are you carrying today?
Yes, I am.
Well then, better tell me what you got.
Smith says, Well, I got a .357 revolver in my inside coat pocket. Theres a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box. And, Ive got a .22 magnum derringer in my right boot.
Okay, the cop says. Anything else?
Yeah, back in the trunk, theres an AR15 and a shotgun. Thats about it.
Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range...?
Nope.
Well then, what are you afraid of...?
Not a damn thing...
Identify this:
This is a picture of:
1.) A 3-year-old's drawing of mountains
2.) Deep thoughts of a suicidal Slinky
3.) An abstract doodle of boobies
4.) Obama's Treasury Secretary nominee's signature
"Are you a Leftwing, Conservative or A Redneck"?
Here is a little test that will help you decide
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leftwing's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Conservative's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click....
(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter:' Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'
Son:' You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?'
Wife:' You are not taking that to the taxidermist!
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2ndamendment; guns; ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen
Doubt this is true but good for a laugh:
Some men carry their diplomacy better than others
When former U.S. military commander in Afghanistan Stanley McChrystal
was called into the Oval Office by Barack Obama, he knew things
weren’t going to go well when the President accused him of not
supporting Obama in his political role as President.
“It is not my job to support you as a politician, Mr. President, it is
my job to support you as Commander-in-Chief,” McChrystal replied.
Not satisfied with accepting McChrystal’s resignation the President
made a cheap parting shot. “I bet when I die you’ll be happy to piss
on my grave.”
The General saluted. “Mr. President, I always told myself after
leaving the Army I’d never stand in line again.”
121
posted on
01/11/2013 2:01:33 PM PST
by
sunny48
To: sunny48
122
posted on
01/11/2013 2:18:08 PM PST
by
llevrok
(ObamaLand - Where young people go to retire)
To: TheOldLady; LibreOuMort
LOL!
We Scots are truly prolific, yes?
123
posted on
01/11/2013 2:19:30 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Trust me: I'm a mother. (Stolen from a T-shirt my sister was wearing.))
To: sunny48
124
posted on
01/11/2013 2:20:50 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Trust me: I'm a mother. (Stolen from a T-shirt my sister was wearing.))
To: Lucky9teen
125
posted on
01/11/2013 2:36:37 PM PST
by
Clay Moore
(The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of a fool to the left. Ecclesiastes 10:2)
To: ArGee
126
posted on
01/11/2013 5:52:41 PM PST
by
Delta 21
(Oh Crap !! Did I say that out loud ??!??)
To: ArGee
127
posted on
01/11/2013 7:22:34 PM PST
by
Delta 21
(Oh Crap !! Did I say that out loud ??!??)
To: Delta 21
Would you believe I considered most of those, but was afraid just looking at them would drive up the cholesterol of my FRiends?
I guess we’ll learn soon enough. :)
128
posted on
01/12/2013 7:25:19 AM PST
by
ArGee
(Reality - what a concept.)
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