Since I’m pretty anonymous:
My first marriage lasted 20 years. Although in the beginning I wanted sex every day, she was fine with twice a week. And it trailed off from there. It produced three beautiful daughters, but back to the subject...
The last year we were married we went 14 months with nothing. And to be clear, she was a BIG arguer and I’m a Mr. Spock when it comes to arguing.
Being a Christian couple, I figured divorce was not an option and I continued to work on it. That is, until, completely out of the blue, she exercises her “no fault divorce” rights.
Not two months later, and completely done with women, I go to my 25th High School reunion and meet a female class mate who had just been through the same thing at the same time (though it was a second husband as her first, and the father of her three children, died of leukemia). She was so done with men that she told her sister to shoot her if she even thought about it.
So, we were both smitten and got married a month after my divorce was final. Frequency? Roughly 13 times a week. Sometimes more. Eventually it slacked off to 7. It’s only about four now. But then, it’s been 15 years and we’re just shy of 60.
And the only thing we ever fought about was sometimes me over-appeasing my ex when dealing with events involving the kids. I honestly can not remember the last time we fought. Our respect for each other is so high (and we both know it) that it is beyond my ability to imagine fighting.
Frankly, I did not know, in my wildest imagination, that it could be this good. It really is like a fairy tale, exept it really does happen.
I also confess that as I look around at young family men I can see it in the men’s eyes and demeanor. I feel bad for them. What I went through is a VERY common tale.
This sums it up:
http://www.fredoneverything.net/Divorce.shtml
THAT is the key. Not lovemaking, and not arguments.
It is respect.
Without mutual respect, I don't believe you can have a happy marriage, no matter how many times you have intercourse or how many times you argue.
Thanks for the comment and link. :o)
I read the link at the end of the your post and it may be true in a lot of cases, not all.
My only marriage is like your second marriage. We started about 10-14 times a week, and now after 30 years and three kids, it's currently down to 5-7, I'm close to your age.
I've had friends whose marriages were like your first marriage, will similar final outcomes.
Guys, here's a clue: A woman who is deeply in love with you will also desire you. Second clue: if she's not willing to have a high enough frequency to keep you satisfied, if she's not willing to make an effort to make you happy, then she doesn't love you. If she's lost interest in sex with you, then divorce will follow, so you might as well talk to your lawyer now and make your plans.