Cher is a skank and I’m sorry I ever liked her music. It turns my stomach now.
My mother married a Sarkisian
[That's 1960's for 'Kardashian']
As a young singer I was nuthin' much
Until one day I got the Bono touch
Half-wit, that's all I ever heard
Half-wit, [that's one-half more than I deserve]
Half-wit, she's a dunce they warned
Smart folks have all mocked me since the day I was born
I made a movie once with Nicholas Cage
And with the gay crowd I was all the rage
The real rockers always laughed at me
Especially when I bared my ass on MTV
Half-wit, that's all I ever heard
Half-wit, [that's one-half more than I deserve]
Half-wit, she's a dunce they warned
Smart folks have all mocked me since the day I was born
I had a problem, more than just a quirk:
Three times each decade I've had plastic work
My life since Sonny's been from doc to doc
My ideology is just a crock
Half-wit, that's all I ever heard
Half-wit, [that's one-half more than I deserve]
Half-wit, she's a dunce they warned
Smart folks have all mocked me since the day I was born