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i am going to make a horrifying admission, right here in the open, on the internets. some of you may turn away in disgust, others will just talk badly about me behind my back, but here goes... We have lived in our present house for 12 years. I had custom made window treatments installed within the first 6 mo. i am guessing. they have never been cleaned. yes, you heard me right— 12 years and these austrian shades hanging in the living room, and they are/were off-white mind you, are FILTHY BEYOND BELIEF. i don’t go in the living room very often, can go weeks without stepping foot in there. but we are getting the house ready for our christmas party next weekend and that’s where the tree goes, right in front of those FILTHY austrian shades. i was near tears on Friday when i first noticed the filth. xshub was entirely nonplussed by it, which made me want to MURDER HIM ON THE SPOT. He said, have them cleaned. i said its a few weeks before christmas are you INSANE? do you think i can just snap my fingers and have them cleaned? once i calmed myself, after he urged me to SIMMER DOWN [my urge to murder escalated at that phrase, actually] i googled, and found someone in the falls church area who does custom drapery cleaning. The lady came yesterday to remove them [they are mounted on a board which is screwed into the window frame] and wonder of wonders, she thinks she can have them done this week. i saw $$$ in her eyes as she walked around looking at the filthy window treatments in the other rooms. if she does a good job, we will have her methodically go through and clean them all. so there, now you know my shameful secret. But honestly, she said she is one of only two in our area that does cleaning of custom window treatments. i am thinking i am not the only filthy person in northern VA.

Did you try vacuuming them?

You had me with “filthy person.”

You should confess to your priest. After hearing tales of adultery, thievery, and brutality all morning, dirty window treatments would give him a lift.

Which reminds me:
A nun was undressed, getting ready to step into the shower when there was a knock on her door.
“Who is it?”
“It’s John, the blind man.”
Feeling no concern about her nakedness in front of a blind man, she opened the door.
“Hi, sister! Nice boobs!! The blinds are clean and I’ve come to hang them back up.”

Simmer down there little lady. LOL. It was bad enough that he underreacted to to the severity of the crisis, but then had the temerity to tell you to simmer down. Thank you for sharing that experience. I feel better about myself now. Sort of like how I feel so much smarter when I watch the guys on Duck Dynasty.

Ha! I’ve got you beat on the shades. Being married to an engineer, we have always moved every 5 years until we got to WI. Shade cleaning was never a problem — we just moved. But, I’ve been in this house 25 years. I have mostly pleated, honeycomb shades by Levelor. The 2 large ones in the living and dining room had to be removed because I replaced the windows last year. One of them needed to be replaced because my husband had split it when trying to get a fly out of the honeycomb. Taking them down, I looked closely at them, and they were pretty grungy, so I threw both of them away. I also gave the floor length Priscilla tie backs from the bedrooms away to St. Vinnie’s. They were in great shape, but I decided that 25 years of ironing them was enough! Somebody else can have that job.

But my shock was examining the over valences that had come with the house. Sort of 18th century affairs made of drapery fabric and lined. Definintely NOT washable. OMG! The dust. Well those are down forever, but I’m saving them for the pattern in casse I want to reconstruct them.

Ha! I’ve got you beat on the shades. Being married to an engineer, we have always moved every 5 years until we got to WI. Shade cleaning was never a problem — we just moved. But, I’ve been in this house 25 years. I have mostly pleated, honeycomb shades by Levelor. The 2 large ones in the living and dining room had to be removed because I replaced the windows last year. One of them needed to be replaced because my husband had split it when trying to get a fly out of the honeycomb. Taking them down, I looked closely at them, and they were pretty grungy, so I threw both of them away. I also gave the floor length Priscilla tie backs from the bedrooms away to St. Vinnie’s. They were in great shape, but I decided that 25 years of ironing them was enough! Somebody else can have that job.

But my shock was examining the over valences that had come with the house. Sort of 18th century affairs made of drapery fabric and lined. Definintely NOT washable. OMG! The dust. Well those are down forever, but I’m saving them for the pattern in casse I want to reconstruct them.

Ha! I've got you beat on the shades. Being married to an engineer, we have always moved every 5 years until we got to WI. Shade cleaning was never a problem — we just moved. But, I've been in this house 25 years. I have mostly pleated, honeycomb shades by Levelor. The 2 large ones in the living and dining room had to be removed because I replaced the windows last year. One of them needed to be replaced because my husband had split it when trying to get a fly out of the honeycomb. Taking them down, I looked closely at them, and they were pretty grungy, so I threw both of them away. I also gave the floor length Priscilla tie backs from the bedrooms away to St. Vinnie's. They were in great shape, but I decided that 25 years of ironing them was enough! Somebody else can have that job.

But my shock was examining the over valences that had come with the house. Sort of 18th century affairs made of drapery fabric and lined. Definitely NOT washable. OMG! The dust. Well those are down forever, but I'm saving them for the pattern in case I want to reconstruct them.