16 year old son went in after dog. When the son got in trouble, Dad went in after the son. The son and the dog got out on their own. Dad was in trouble, so Mom and the son went in after Dad. The daughter went for help.
I can't fault the Dad. I would have gone in after my child. I believe that my wife has enough sense, however, that she would not then go in after me or allow my child to go back in after me.
As a Dad, I would have no regrets if I died to save my child. But I would be really pissed off in the afterlife if that sacrifice only resulted in my wife and child dying too.
As a father and husband, I largely agree with your take on the situation as to who should and shouldn’t go in—though I am not sure that Mrs. H would make the decision that I would hope she would.
That said, I would be quite annoyed in this life at my kid for going in after the dog—if the dog is in trouble it is a good sign that no one should be in the water (I grew up on the Oregon coast). On the other hand, I trust that God takes us when it is best, so I hope that I wouldn’t be too ticked in the afterlife.
I can see the son’s point—if he got Dad into trouble, he has a duty to get him out (though I would still say to him cut your losses). Risking one’s life so that one wouldn’t have to live with that is understandable—though if he has already been in once he is likely to be more of a liability than a help.
In the end, the advice to think things out ahead of time is good because decisions under pressure often are not the greatest.