Dude, if you are buying a .357, load it with .357 HP. Practice with .38.
For recoil sensitive folks, using 38 special +p+ reduces recoil in a heavier frame such as is built to handle .357 magnum rounds. I load my pistol with .357 JHP and use the same rounds in the lever gun for .357. But this is a person who by her own posts is not a shooter, yet. Load with .38 special for initiail practice and for home defense, that way there are no ‘surprises’ if she has to use the weapon for home defense. You will find that inside sixty feet the ballistics are similar, but the recoil is noticeably reduced.