For recoil sensitive folks, using 38 special +p+ reduces recoil in a heavier frame such as is built to handle .357 magnum rounds. I load my pistol with .357 JHP and use the same rounds in the lever gun for .357. But this is a person who by her own posts is not a shooter, yet. Load with .38 special for initiail practice and for home defense, that way there are no ‘surprises’ if she has to use the weapon for home defense. You will find that inside sixty feet the ballistics are similar, but the recoil is noticeably reduced.
I find little difference in recoil in my SP101. Just a louder bang and muzzle flash. What my wife found was the trigger pull was too hard for her to be comfortable with (after range time).
Ive discovered that semi's are coming with a first shot double action configuration. That first shot seems to have a lighter trigger pull than my wheel gun, then it goes semi after that. Another option.