The delivery of your message is what is being slighted. Not your reasoning or methods. There is understood sentiments and logic in your planning. We accept preppers.
You started off your post with, “...I told my wife to....”. You followed that with the list of orders. That is commical in a world of self reliant, patriotic and conservative Christians.
My FRiend, don’t be offended. The panic delivery is under more scrutiny than your plan.
Now, when can I visit? I hope you live in OK or TX.
I guess ignorance really is bliss.