(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

[Lucky9teen]

One witch told another witch, "I want one of those new computers that has a spell checker."



Don't bother inviting the Invisible Man to your Halloween party.
He won't show up. Sometimes he makes excuses, but they're all transparent.

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer dashes to his studio, develops the film and…learns that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.



A vampire joined the police force so he could learn the correct way to get a stakeout.

The ghost was lonely because he didn't have a ghoulfriend.

Who do they call when a demon needs a personal trainer? The exercist!

Hall o' wiener: when I decorated my foyer with sausage.

Pumpkin juice + Chardonnay = Hallow'ine?

Impossible to track down: the Wherewolf.

The vampire was known for his awful puns. They called him Count Dreckula.

 The giant sea-lizard was a bit of a practical joker. They called him Goadzilla.

We all know about the rash of unexplained deaths in the village of Sleepy Hollow.
But, as an unfortunate sidebar, to deal with all the corpses was a most incompetent funeral director,
nicknamed the Heedless Hearseman.

Hansel and Gretel must have misread the invitation – they thought they'd been asked to join the witches coven!

Do posh demons go cruising in a coupe devil?

 

Some prefer getting candy on Halloween, but two days later I like to go out and collect shoes. I call it All Soles Day.

The wandering minstrel was excited about trick-or-treating. He said, “I hear there's gonna be lute!”

My house is haunted by the ghosts of a thousand chickens. It's just like that movie, Poultrygeist.

The Irishman was visited by a ghost while making moonshine. "I can't sleep at night," the man said, "it haunts me still. " (Irish accent needed)

Mary Shelley wrote about her good friend Benjamin Franklin's obsession with German beer. She called it ‘Frank and stein'.

Where do zombies 'get down'? In the raveyard. (A good place to get tombstoned?)

You hear about the play they staged in a cemetery? It got grave reviews.

Was the TV newsman haunted by his exact double? Yes, it was a Koppelganger.

Skeletonnes are heavier than they look.

A skeleton's favourite Billy Idol song? ‘Bony Bony…'.

 

Never ask a warlock where he works: it tends to be a ‘sorce' spot.

In Canada the werewolves are obsessed with ‘hockey hairdos'. In fact they can only be killed with a silver mullet.

When demons go to university, they get to take a lot of hellectives.

[ArGee]

An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.

The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?”

The old man looks at the bartender through Teary eyes and between sobs says, “I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper, Extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed.”

The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, “But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?”

The old man looks at the bartender and says, “I can’t remember where I live!”

[Monkey Face]

You Should Be a Vampire for Halloween

According to our quiz, you'd make an ideal vampire.
Your runner up costume: Geisha

The Halloween Costume Generator

Blogthings: We Have a Quiz for Almost Everything

[ErnBatavia]

Not sure how far I should get into this thread today....had my gallbladder yanked day before yestiddy, and do NOT want to get the giggles...

[ArGee]

What’s the difference between a politician and a vampire?

One’s a bloodsucking fiend that will take all the life from you and leave you for dead, the other one’s a myth.

[sunny48]

Mexican word of the day: Wheelchair. “Me and Juan only had 1 taco but that’s ok, wheelchair.

[Monkey Face]

FUNNY!!!

[Currentriverrat]

WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF TOP 50!!!!!!!

[Disambiguator]

I took the costume quiz, but the questions about dresses and makeup concerned me, as I don’t go in for that sort of thing (I’m a guy).

I think I’ll just don my normal costume, which is a slightly geeky middle-aged guy who’s into cycling. For some reason, I seem to have all the components of the costume readily available at home!

[red-dawg]

"Wait a second, that's not coffee in your cup!"

[dragonblustar]

LOL!!!!

[ArGee]

A vampire, a werewolf, and an honest politician walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Wait a minute. This can’t be real. There’s no such thing as an honest politician.”

[ArGee]

Politics: (n)

From the roots:
poly - meaning many
ticks - meaning small, bloodsucking parasites

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is MORE SILLINESS!!

[CtBigPat]

[llevrok]

WaaaHoooo! First 26

[GraceG]

DO NOT WANT!!!!

Ewwwww, you just ruined Pinky Pie for this Pegasister!

[llevrok]

A few years ago, I went to a Halloweeen costume party, buck nekkid except for an Idaho potato tied on a string, around my waist.

I went as a dick-tater

[RetSignman]

[ticks - meaning small, bloodsucking parasites]

Ergo, DemocraTICS.

[llevrok]

had my gallbladder yanked day before yestiddy..

So we are not to make any bile comments about your condition, huh?

[TexasCajun]

Check out the coolest video I've seen in a long time!

Flyboards (Wave runners)

I promise you will be sharing this with all your friends.