Posted on 09/21/2012 1:58:04 PM PDT by Pharmboy
I have always enjoyed hearing those funny and clever expressions handed down from grandmas and grandpas in the heartland. I grew up in the east, but went to school in the mid-west, and some of the guys I went to school with had some great ones.
I would love to hear some of yours.
I will start with a few that I heard years ago, and ask you folks to add your own favorites that you heard from friends and family.
My dad (NYC):
"Busier than a one-armed paper hanger."
From a buddy from Indiana:
"Well, he stands out like two turds in a pan of milk."
"She's crazier than a half-f***ed fox during the heat season."
From a guy from Georgia who lived down the hall [said about a woman who was not particularly attractive]:
She sure ain't nobody's pretty chile."
A woman from Maryland as she goes to answer the telelphone:
"What kind of fresh hell is this?"
Now you go...
Another favorite from Dad:
“He ain’t an a$$hole, he’s a hemmorhoid.
A$$holes serve a purpose in life. They evacuate waste. He is a bloated puss filled thing that painfully blocks progress”
Almost forgot....my mom, seeing Alan Colmes for the first time on Fox News: “That man looks like a frog peeping through ice!”
“He’s as crooked as a fish hook.”
Ha - and my Dad would say “He’s as crooked as a politician” describing anyone with questionable character.
Rainin' harder than a horse p*ssin' on a ceeement slab
Also a variant of that, in regards to a hot day, as "sweatin' more than a whore in church
LOL, it fits
(Looking at your pants)
Say hello to crackers.
“happy as a peetie bird”
“he don’t know up from izzard”
“saucered and blowed” (a texas style of coffee drinking from a saucer,not cup)
Every things ticket boo (a Canadian saying meaning all is better than OK)
“That’ll go over like a fart in church.”
“Colder than a well-digger’s ass in January.”
Hanging in there like a loose tooth in a hockey player.
"Honey, a pee can is something you put beside your bed at night. A Pecan (pee con) is something you eat.
Now you're loggin' with steam! (as in doing great, In the real old days, logging was done with mules, ox and a lot of grumpy Swedes before steam power was introduced.
he looks like 100 miles of bad road
he’s crookeder than a country road.
I remember a bunch of young people explaining how to pronounce pecan.
I am from the Florida Panhandle and we say Pee Con. A little girl from Jesup, Georgia said Pee Can. I guess even in South Georgia some pronounce it differently.
tighter than a crab’s ass at 6 fathoms (why 6 and not 4 or 20, I dont know?)
slower than yesterday’s gravy
My sis in law, referring to an older gentleman, said “you can’t shoot pool with a rope.”
My granddaddy, rather than call BS, would say “horsefeathers”.
Yup. Usually means a slam is coming so head for cover. And that slam is usually delivered by the sweetest southern lady you ever met - 'till now.
or his brain was like a BB in a box car
“Busier than a one-legged [victimized class here] in an ass-kickin’ contest.”
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