I hate to say this, but I’m afraid this marriage might not work out. Things seem a bit tense in that household. Perhaps with counseling, he could learn to stop being annoying to her and learn to speak in a supportive way to her. Because it’s always the guy’s fault, you know. < /s>
Loved her foresight with the plastic sheeting and roasting pans, BTW. Always think ahead! You don’t want to mess up a perfectly good mattress when you butcher your spouse with a tiger saw. But in general, I would advise an 18-inch wood-metal wrecking blade for a job like this. You can get them in a three-pack at Home Depot for about $20. Worth the investment when you have a big job to do.
I the good old days I remember
with a knife she would try to dismember
just your most valued part, your member.
But today it’s Ryobi, Makita, Black and Decker
and the target more valuable than your pecker
Lock up the tool shed each night before bed
and sleep with one eye open, and you might keep your head.