Posted on 09/09/2012 9:23:53 AM PDT by count-your-change
It's that time of year. The auto dealers face a wave of 2013 vehicles and must clear out the 2012 models to make room and avoid the inventory tax where it exists. Pretty much the same as last year and if you're in the market for a car you might be able to strike a good deal for brand new one year old car.
But one thing you might have trouble finding is an American auto that is NOT just plain ugly. Ugly and uninspired, ugly and bland, ugly and really ugly seems to be the rule.
I offer in evidence the 2013 Chevrolet Spark. No, I won't post a picture, I'll have mercy on the people that love the classics.
Firstly the front end looks like most other econo thumpers in the $15,000 range, squinty eye, swept back head lights and an overly busy grill area framed in plastic. PLastic! I'm sure it would hold up to an impact with cotton candy fairly well but anything tougher will require a call to your insurance agent.
Open the door and experience the true ugliness of today's offerings: Their tiny entrances. All you have to do is turn backwards, bend double and hope your knees will bend enough to allow you to drag your feet in. Wonderful! Now try getting out.
Moving to the rear of the typical new car gives the impression that the designers just gave up and tried to get the thing finished so they could leave early at the end of the week. Just hit the computer key that says, "Add some lights and acres of plastic" and punch out for the weekend.
But one may object, "You get what what you pay for." You sure do!
Consider the 2013 Chevrolet Corvette. The same squinty eye, wrap around head lights and the rest of the cars exterior a study in blandness, a bar of soap worn down to roundness with a couple of tail lights to keep the drivers behind from falling asleep just looking at the car.
For this you can pay handsomely, up to a hundred grand if you're a wealthy masochist or believe the slinky women in the commercial will ignore your double chins and "portly" avoirdupois. In case they don't the car does go fast so you'll be able to leave that embarrassing situation quickly and feel the breeze in your Hair Club for Men.
Me? The last car that I truly enjoyed driving and found really comfortable was my 1975 Ford LTD. It was big, heavy, feared no car on the road and ate at least one Fiat. And it had character by the ton.
If I were inclined to spend fifteen to twenty grand on a car today I would find one of the older models that were like Cleopatra's barge on wheels and have it restored or at least made serviceable.
The ugliness, the blandness, the uninspired sameness of today's auto designs is, what I believe, drives the popularity of the restoration market. What else would drive a person to pay thousands of dollars for a rusty, thirty or forty year old car and spend tens of thousands of dollars restoring it to its new condition when it sold for under three thousand dollars?
I would go kick a new car's tires but I'm afraid one kick might total it.
I always thought the backend was cut off to spare our eyes further insult.
The new Taurus has a kitchen appliance look to it.
They did put a good 232 in some of the Gremlins. I had one with a 3 speed that was just a quick in the quarter mile as just about any other stock muscle car of the same era.
The new Camaro convertible is $60k I think I will keep my old one and for $60 k I can gold plate it.
We’re in the process of restoring a ‘68 Super Bee so we’ve been spending a lot of time in muscle car graveyards, surfing car websites and browsing magazines. The contrast between the beauty of old cars and the boring, ugly stuff of today has never been more apparent to me.
Sad. It used to be nothing had more style than an American car. Heck, I’d even prefer a Gremlin over today’s offerings. At least it’s different.
And didn’t Ford jack the price up on the Taurus? For God’s sake, why?
“Ive had ricers since high school. Burned my money from summer work souping them up. Had no problems getting girls.”
They just must have liked the gaudy spoilers, fart cans, stickers, and coughing intake that make those ricers so fast. LOL
They’ll just take a Korean make and slap a U.S. tag on it.
They must be charging by the pound because that pig weighs as much as an SUV did 10 years ago. And I am a Ford lover.
I have a FabTech suspension-lifted black 1998 Toyo Taco regular cab pickup. It’s got Mickey Thompson 30” mudders on after-market American Racing aluminum wheels. Nineteen inches of ground clearance. Stainless steel flo-thru exhaust system. Revamped differential ratio of 5.0:1. Extra large perforated racing front disc brakes. This tiny truck goes like the wind and will crawl over anything. It has decals all over the back window, a sprayed-in rhino-hyde bedliner and a nice aluminum tool box. It gets lots of compliments from other drivers. There is no rust and no leaks. Runs like a Swiss watch at 145,000 miles. Only part I really had to replace was the steering rack. I put almost $10k into it 2 years ago. Only thing missing is a couple of machine-gun ports (LOL). The only other vehicle that might tempt me now is a yellow FJ cruiser with all of the off-road extras and blue-tooth equipped which retails for around $37-40k. There also may be a Jeep Wrangler with optional off-road tires out there I might like, and maybe a Hummer or two. Nothing else. You’re correct, most of the vehicles mass produced just suck. I’m expecting 500,000 miles out of the Toyo. I’m 64 years old and I’ll probably get buried in it.
Style and substance take a back seat to build costs and federal regs in the auto industry. Even if you designed the coolest car ever, the design would never get past the accountants or federal regulators. The prototype shops are full of the bones of cool concept vehicles that were shot down by the corporate brass. All you get now are soviet era trabants and hand me down fiats.
They are turning it into a certain German car.
“... would love to have a General”.
RACIST!! (major SARC tag. LOL!)
I think Toyota is living on their past reputation.
My wife has a Camray and I’m not impressed.
Back in the day, boyfriend had a used 69 Charger. ;)
I loved that old car with whiny transmission and huge steering wheel.
Sorry, but it looks like a Ricer got hold of a DB9s.
Ugh.
I’ve seen late-1980/early 1990 Ford Mustangs with that same over-louvered, plasticized look.
NOTHING about that car give way to beauty of the DB9-series.
Civics and Camrys around here are driven by people who are risk averse. They are careful with money but not interested in looking cheap. They need a choice that their friends won’t laugh at (such as a GM or other American-made sedan, or an off-brand, like Kia), that will last a long time, and get fixed at their favorite repair place.
No interest in design flare, experimental gimmicks, or hauling heavy stuff or outdoor gear.
They drive a lot and do not mope about their car. I’ve never been in a dirty Camry or Civic.
(Personal note: We don’t own either one. We are cheap, and don’t care if people know it.)
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