Survivor Preview - Season Premier
Tonight, Wednesday, September 19, 2012, 8/7c on CBS - special 90 minute premier episode
Kalabaw Tribe: Carter, Dana, Dawson, Jeff, Jonathan, Katie
Matsing Tribe: Angie, Denise, Malcolm, Roxy, Russell, Zane
Tandang Tribe: Abi-Maria, Artis, Lisa, Michael, Pete, RC
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Ugh, I hate three team games. Never enough time in the episode to devote to all three teams, you know who's going to lose the immunity challenge before they get there simply because they've spent more time on that tribe than on others, and the tribes are so small that there's little mystery as to whom is going to be voted out.
Interesting that no one attempted to check the obvious place for the immunity idol - that pretty little topper for their rice bin. Nice to see the return of the strip the boat challenge and the 100 meter raft with chicken challenge.
Returning players? I gotta say, there has to be a test at the door of Survivor - are you stupid enough not to pay attention during your intensive three day survival course that identifies safe and dangerous plants, as well as dangerous animals, wound care and fire making? YOU'RE IN! All those who take notes during the course are relegated immediately to ‘alternate’ position.
As for the returning players themselves - Russel, hope you didn't have any plans for a million dollars, as it's not happening. Penner, always glad to hear my favorite Alan Alda sound alike, but at one point, you might want to stop being a fan of the game and become a player. Skupin? Seriously, please work on hand eye coordination, you're ruining the whole myth of inhaling the smoke and ‘passing out’ into the flames.
Loads of schemers, few ‘good’ folks to cheer on. Baseball player who could pay for his own Survivor game to play? Yeah, I'd be more interested in a AA player hungry for recognition. Blair? Oh, yeah, typical sob story, blew all the money, lived life of ‘poverty’ that apparently affords some pretty nifty makeover budget.
Myself, ones I'm thinking to ‘watch’ are Denise who seems very settled on the mind game, future Octomom Abi-Maria, and Malcolm. Ones to cheer on are Dana and Roxie.
And I've high hopes for spectacular crashes by Artis, RC and Skupin. I'd give even odds that Skupin will have to resort to adding in some toes to count to ten by the end of this season. Artis just strikes me as the wig out type, and RC - the oh so intelligent investment banker who'll make bets she can't cover with other people's money.
Scenery? A+ Great location. Casting? C- - low marks for digging into retreads and ‘celebrities’, with a little redemption for picking a few interesting people before falling back to the beach calendar mentality. First challenge? A+... Err, right, not counting the boat as a challenge, a B- - I know it's easier on the production crew to break up the tribe and focus just on a couple people with follow up reaction shots, but the best first challenges are all out team efforts, not relays.
And finally, the host. We got it, Jeff, you're bored. Go ahead, stay with your daytime show, and bring in Colby to handle it for you. You know he'd be on the plane in minutes, and heck, these remote locations would work out just fine for Top Shot too - they could use the same set building crew and give some real interest to loser camp.
Finally, for Zane - really? Have you EVER watched this show? I mean, EVER? First, the strategy of an ‘alliance’ with everyone rarely works out past the first tribal. Second, bragging about it just paints a massive target on your back, and finally - there's a time to shut up. When you're babbling so much that you're talking about how people are onions that’ll make you cry? You can't really expect BUT to get voted off at that point.
No one could trust you, especially to keep a secret, but moreso, you went out of your way to ensure that everyone had a reason to vote you out - you made an alliance with them, all of them, and in doing so, betrayed all of them. Worse, you're kinda likable, which means you'll get votes if you make it to the end. To the loser village with you, your fool outfit awaits.