Dads: If You Don’t Want Your Daughter to Date Charlie Sheen,

Townhall.com ^ | July 1, 2012 | Doug Giles

[Kaslin]

Here are my 10 Commandments for my daughter’s potential boyfriends.

Please facebook, email and tweet this list and my accompanying new video to dads who do not want their daughters to ever date or marry Lil Wayne, Charlie Sheen, Beavis or Butthead.

Commandment I. Thou shall understand that your presence doesn't make me happy. And know this: I've got a PI doing a background check on you at this moment.

Commandment II. Thou had better have a life. I have worked my butt off providing a good life for my daughter; therefore, you better have one, Spanky.

Commandment III. Thou shall not touch my daughter. If you do, I'll smash your hands and your mommy will have to help you gel your Justin Bieber haircut.

Commandment IV. Thou shall look me in the eye and shake my hand like a man. And turn off your damn cell phone.

Commandment V. Thou shall understand that you are a boy talking to a man. Do not gush around me or attempt to read me an entry from your journal. I'm not Oprah. I am a Neanderthal.

Commandment VI. Thou shall know that our family is old school. Do not even think about approaching me with liberal, hippie, agnostic, atheistic, anti-American or tree-humping bull crap.

Commandment VII. Thou shall know that I like cool and expensive gifts. You'd be shrewd to approach me like the three wise men did Baby Jesus, namely with gold, frankincense and myrrh.

Commandment VIII. Thou shall understand that if you're dumb enough to tell me a dirty joke, I'm comfortable enough with kicking your ass.

Commandment IX. Thou shall keep your word. If you say you're going to do something, then I expect you to do it.

Commandment X. Thou shall memorize commandments I - IX. Yep, your best bet, home slice, is to both memorize and practice these commandments because I am Dad Almighty!

Parents, if you’d like an awesome full-color, punk-scaring poster of my 10 Commandments for Your Daughter’s Potential Boyfriends to grace your entryway, man cave or office, click here. Be afraid, scrubs. Be afraid.

[Tea Party Terrorist]

I know who his daughter is. Just don’t think his language is particularly appropriate for a Minister. He cursed 3 times in his post.

Don’t you agree that the language used in common discourse has become a bit crass?

[Popman]

Sort of lame list....having raised two daughters to adulthood and dealt with many a "boyfriend"

Sit the "boyfriend" down alone, explain in common decent language that by dating my daughter you are asking me to trust you and believe you can act like an mature adult and treat and respect my daughter and me as her father...

Ist question- "Can you do that young man" ?
2nd question "Where are you going ?
3rd question...you WILL have her home by midnight correct ?

Watch them leave and then follow them...

More than once when they arrived home I pulled the young man off to the side and explained since you lied to me where you were going and when you got her home...you are banished forever from darkening my door...then I would take them by the collar and toss them out the door on their ass.

My daughters learned to aim higher when dating 'cause they know if their date would lie to daddy they would lie to them

[41Thunder]

Commandment IX. Thou shall keep your word. If you say you're going to do something, then I expect you to do it.

That's a dangerous commandment! What if your daughter's boyfriend said, "Sir, I'm a man of my word and I'm going to have sex with your daughter all night." Then what?

[TheWriterTX]

Thank you, Yldstrk. But I consider myself the fortunate one to be his wife.

[yldstrk]

That is what I said I thought

[TheWriterTX]

Sorry, Yldstrk! Trying to do 3 things at once and read that wrong.

Have a great Fourth of July!

[Ouderkirk]

If one is to believe that “rape” as it were is not about sex but about “power and control” I can understand the just desterts aspect of it. FWIW, I am more of a capital punishment guy. I don’t want the punishment meted out by other prisoners, I would much prefer that the “we the poeple” exact our justice in the advice of Thomas Jefferson. You are found guilty today, you are executed tomorrow unless tomorrow is Sunday in which case, you are executed on Monday.

[Tax-chick]

If one is to believe that “rape” as it were is not about sex but about “power and control” ...

I don't believe that. You can beat someone up if you want power and control. If our country wants to be, say, Pakistan, we can sentence everyone - mean kids, shoplifters, mass murderers - to anal rape in open court. If we're a civilized country, the slobbering lust over butt-sex as "justice" needs to stop, and (as we both agree) the most dangerous criminals should be speedily executed.