Whew, dodged... 
a bullet there!
Okay, girls, come to Bendy... 
and let's party!
Posted on 07/01/2012 4:56:33 AM PDT by Kaslin
Here are my 10 Commandments for my daughter’s potential boyfriends.
Please facebook, email and tweet this list and my accompanying new video to dads who do not want their daughters to ever date or marry Lil Wayne, Charlie Sheen, Beavis or Butthead.
Commandment I. Thou shall understand that your presence doesn't make me happy. And know this: I've got a PI doing a background check on you at this moment.
Commandment II. Thou had better have a life. I have worked my butt off providing a good life for my daughter; therefore, you better have one, Spanky.
Commandment III. Thou shall not touch my daughter. If you do, I'll smash your hands and your mommy will have to help you gel your Justin Bieber haircut.
Commandment IV. Thou shall look me in the eye and shake my hand like a man. And turn off your damn cell phone.
Commandment V. Thou shall understand that you are a boy talking to a man. Do not gush around me or attempt to read me an entry from your journal. I'm not Oprah. I am a Neanderthal.
Commandment VI. Thou shall know that our family is old school. Do not even think about approaching me with liberal, hippie, agnostic, atheistic, anti-American or tree-humping bull crap.
Commandment VII. Thou shall know that I like cool and expensive gifts. You'd be shrewd to approach me like the three wise men did Baby Jesus, namely with gold, frankincense and myrrh.
Commandment VIII. Thou shall understand that if you're dumb enough to tell me a dirty joke, I'm comfortable enough with kicking your ass.
Commandment IX. Thou shall keep your word. If you say you're going to do something, then I expect you to do it.
Commandment X. Thou shall memorize commandments I - IX. Yep, your best bet, home slice, is to both memorize and practice these commandments because I am Dad Almighty!
Parents, if you’d like an awesome full-color, punk-scaring poster of my 10 Commandments for Your Daughter’s Potential Boyfriends to grace your entryway, man cave or office, click here. Be afraid, scrubs. Be afraid.
Doug Giles lost me with his advocacy of prison rape for the junior-high boys involved in the bus-monitor bullying episode. I understand it’s his Media Shtick and all, but for a person who claims to be a minister to sink that low ...
To me, that makes him part of the problem, not part of the solution.
Whew, dodged... a bullet there!
Okay, girls, come to Bendy... and let's party!
It sounds like this guy has never had to deal with a teenaged daughter before. What’s he going to do if after laying down these commandments the boyfriend says, in so many words, “go F yourself.” What’s he going to do then? Beat him up? Yeah, right. Ban him from seeing the daughter? If you want to drive you daughter right into some loser’s arms just act like a domineering jerk and tell her she’s banned from seeing him.
This guy’s a minister? Nice language, Rev!
My plan is a girls’ convent school in Campos, Brazil. No spending money, and she will have to figure out the Portuguese.
I wouldn’t have passed your test 30-40 years ago between my college years and when I finally got married
Heck I wouldn’t pass some of it today. All I can say is back in the day, I’ve run across dads like that and the main problem was their daughters and not me. It was amazing how out of touch they were about the mental state of their ‘little girls’.
One other thing. Thank God I had only boys. Had I had a little girl I would have been much more draconian than this guy. Cause I know what the score is.
Get DirecTV Today.
I’m sure he was joking. Although there is a time and a place for sick jokes...
Don’t watch any movie with Charlie Sheen in it
The appropriate time and place for jokes about the anal rape of children is ... what?
There are a surprising number of advocates of anal rape in this forum. I sometimes wonder if, privately, they wish they could do the deed themselves.
That is what you think
I’d make him an offer he can’t refuse.Really.
Old joke: with a boy or boys, you only need to worry about that quantity of male genitalia. With a girl(s), you have to worry about all the male genitalia.
My show, ClashRadio.com, is a two-hour Monday through Friday talk show that's profusely packed with patriotic principles fueled by uncut testosterone. ClashRadio.com features sick interviews with best-selling authors, pundits, entertainers and other world shapers and shakers who are trying their gut level best not to let this nation sink into the crapper.
In addition to hosting ClashRadio.com, I am a columnist on Townhall.com (one of the nation's largest conservative news portals), a pastor at ClashChurch.com, an artist and the author of the Amazon.com best-selling book, Raising Righteous & Rowdy Girls. My articles have also appeared on several other print and online news sources, including The Washington Times, Daily Caller, New York Times, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Examiner, NRA News, American Hunter Magazine and ABC News. I've been a frequent guest on both the Fox News Channel and Fox Business Channel as well as many nationally syndicated radio shows across the nation - which, I believe, officially makes me a super hero.
My wifey, Mary Margaret, and I have two daughters: Hannah, who devastated ACORN with her 2009 nation shaking undercover videos, and Regis who is an NRA columnist, huntress and Second Amendment activist. Mission accomplished. How you doing?
I am sure you have heard about those undercover cover videos Hannah Giles James O'Keefe did on ACORN. If not you better get informed before you bash the author
I didn’t care much for his “Baby Jesus” reference. I see it used a lot by people making fun of Christians.
Seems a good minister of the Lord would hold Jesus in higher regard than to reference Jesus this way.
The whole concept of that line is strange. It’s almost as if he’s suggesting that a young man can buy access to his daughters.
And yes, I know that in real life his daughters are successful young adults. It’s hard to see how any of the self-parodying nonsense in this column contributed to that outcome. My oldest daughter is a successful young adult, too. By the time she was asked on a date (age 15 or so), she had a backup plan (the Federalist Papers in her pocket, “in case I get bored”) and had arranged her own chaperonage.
Perhaps Mr. Giles was just tired this weekend, and any old text would meet the contractual requirement. It seems to me that a lot of junk journalism is published simply because “pundits” have an obligation to put out something, anything.
I don’t think that those who have wished such an act be perpetrated on a perpetrator are “advocates” or secret wishers.
It would seem that they are seeking some sort of justice, which seems to be lacking in our “ justice system”
See the Channon Christian and Christopher Newsom murders in Knoxville some years ago. The abject depravity of the acts of the savages who perpetrated this crime screams for capital punishment for anyone who was even remotely involved. Yet only one got the death penalty, and now has a new trial due to the scumbag judge.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.