Posted on 06/30/2012 8:05:22 PM PDT by Marie
Ten years ago my family adopted a stray, adult male cat from our local shelter. He took to me immediately, but would barely tolerate my kids. He flat-out hated my husband on sight and that never changed. He did form an uneasy truce with our dog. They basically agree to ignore each other.
He's at least 12 now and the years have not been good for him.
He's always been terribly nervous. He over-grooms to the point of self mutilation and there are months where his belly is completely bald. He spends his time under the bed. He moves through the house with his tail low, darting from safe-haven to safe-haven. He's the only animal I've ever had that refuses treats. He only eats dry kibble. And, in the summer he'll refuse to eat even that and go down to skin and bones.
He's flea free and well taken care of. The vet has never found anything physically wrong with him. Nothing has worked to make him happy except one thing.
Being alone with me. When the house is quiet and empty, he's a different animal. He's affectionate and playful. Relaxed. He's been a true comfort to me when my husband has been deployed. He and I have our daily rituals. We are true friends. I think that, had the two of us been tucked into a cabin the woods for all these years, he'd have been fine.
But now we're moving and we can't take him with us. My daughter had planned to take him for me, but now things have changed.
The disruption in the house has driven him mad. He's defecating all over the house for the first time. He's scratched his own throat terribly and I've just discovered that the wound is infected.
In the evening, for just an hour or so, he crawls into my lap for comfort. He relaxes and purrs and behaves like a happy, normal cat.
And then he's off again. Running and hiding from imaginary bad guys. Ripping out his hair and scratching himself bloody.
I've never had a problem putting down a sick animal. I know that there comes a point to let them go.
But he's not dying! He's just miserable and crazy. I know that, if he goes with my daughter's new family, he's going to be insane and drive her insane with the random pooping.
I don't think that it's fair to ask her to put up with this. She is buying her first house. And I don't think that it's fair to keep him in this miserable state.
But then we have that hour or so where he's a normal, happy cat and I don't think I can go through with Monday's euthanasia.
When is it time to let a crazy cat go?
As a last resort, I would contact the cat expert on the Animal Planet show, “My Cat From Hell”. He does amazing things with totally whacked-out cats — has a lot of knowledge, connects with them, and changes behavior
Of course, it’s a reality show, and I don’t know how much of it, if any, is staged. Still... it’s a thought, since your case is so extreme.
We love our kitties. Started with three, and then brought in one feral cat and three feral kittens. There are many coyotes and mean raccoons in our area, and we couldn’t sleep at night wondering if they’d survive until the next morning.
Anyhow, FWIW...
Yes. Prayer changes things. - We tend to take carnivorous animals and try to make vegetarians out of them, (there are “meat based”(Blue Buffalo) dry foods available now, we also pen them up in the house, which is not a normal life for the hunter cat. (When they live outside, they can sharpen their claws on tree bark to their heart’s content, and hunt mice, moles, lizards, birds, and other wild, protein rich game to their hearts’ content; also no worries about the litter box, since the whole outdoors is their litter box.)
Better late than never to change his lifestyle. If he dies from exposure to the outdoors; at least he’s had a normal life, sink or swim. (One day, they may stay gone by choice for whatever reason.) One day, not long ago, my 12 yr. old cat chose to go down and live with the bobcats in the caves below our house. A wild, normal girl.
The poor cat was vicious. We were all cat lovers, but this cat was totally unloveable and destructive. It would hide behind or under the furniture and come out and attack anyone who walked by.
At night, he would run around the living room, jumping from one piece of furniture to the next, hanging on a long table cloth on one table, pulling it off, along with the lamp and other collectibles. He would hang from the curtains, jump on the piano keys and walk across them in the middle of the night. Every morning we had to put the living room back together.
…and he wouldn’t let anyone hold him and pet him.
I put down an insane Jack Russel Terrier. He had always been mean and a biter but he got worse as he got older. When he was about 14 he bit me twice in 2 weeks and that was the end. I took him and had him put down. He was either crazy or in some serious pain.
Put the cat down, you have been good to him for a long time. Don’t send him off to a new house, that would be an awful thing to do.
It’s been my experience the prime desire to keep a cat indoors always is longevity (getting hit by car, fights with cats/dogs, exposure to disease). Cats are territorial and natural hunters. Some cats do much better outside.
It has taken 4 weeks and intentially breaking the bonded cats apart to essentially tame the “feral house-cat.” We were within days of prescribing the cat medication(lord knows how the foster would have pilled the hellion), when in a last ditch effort we took the feral cat route with her. It worked. I just got two videos today showing her all calm, being petted, purring and playing.
The Neurosis you describe can be from heightened anxiety. And to varying degrees depending on the pathology they may be from parasites etc. (ex. FIV+ can become aggressive later in life due to the pathology) And while he trusts you ...he doesn't and has never learned to trust the rest of his world. He would be a major project and/or undertaking even for someone like me and there would be no guarantees.
I had a feral adopt me. She had kittens. They had no interest in being inside my canine smelling house.
One of the grown kittens moved next door...the other went to that big litter box in the sky.
Although MaMa kitty is very cagey, my canine loving heart slipped into “protect” mode and thought I could convert her to an inside kitty. You know, keep her out of the elements and away from danger.
Very BIG mistake on my part. Aside from damage to my home while she tried to escape...the sounds she made sounded like I had tied her to the railroad tracks and the Number 9 was speeding toward her.
She won the battle. I feed her and pet her when she allows it...and pray for her safety. She is happy.
You gave it a far longer life then it would have had in the wild and by putting it to sleep, a painless death.
The only other alternative I can think of is some kind of medication to keep it calm.
Only you know this kitty.
You have loved him for a long time. It is obvious that you have done every thing you could for him.
Because of that love, I truly believe that whatever decision you make, it will be the best one for him.
You are a very kind person. Thank you.
That is, unless she's working through the shrink's hangups and the shrink is a guy.
That is, unless she's working through the shrink's hangups and the shrink is a guy.
It's a hard decision, I know. A few days ago, I had to put down my beloved 1-year-old short-haired tortie because she came down with a prolapsed rectum. Took her to the animal ER, was shocked by their quote for surgery for this problem ($5,000). No way would I have been able to get that much money together, unfortunately. They recommended that I take her to animal control and have them put her down, which I did, regretfully. I spent most of that evening crying and telling Callie what a good girl she was and how sorry I was to have to do this. I stayed with her as long as I could. But there was nothing else I could do in that situation. She was suffering and I didn't want to prolong it.
I did come home and finf a discussion on TheCatSite.com about this very problem. If I had caught the problem earlier, I might have been able to help some with Preparation H. However, she had nore rectal tissue prolapsed than the pictures on that website showed.
She had been caught in a nearby rural town as a tiny, undersized, starving feral. I adopted her from the vet clinic down there. When I got her she looked like a drowned rat, she was so tiny for her age (est. at 8-10 mnths). By the time I had to take her on that final terrible ride, she had gained weight to 8 pounds. She would literally eat anything. She was loved and loving, very friendly and sweet. She was only maybe a year old when I had to make that terrible decision. My oldest remaining girl is 11. I was hoping to have little Callie around for a long time, but it was not to be.
It's never easy, even when it's the right thing to do.
Best wishes to you and your kitty, no matter how neurotic it is. You have done the best you could.
Hmmm...
Two X-Chromosomes with different hair color genes
One always deactivated in a patchwork
Yup - dat’s a girl
But women don't have hangups, do they?
/ donning asbestos suit
What, are you saying that men don't have hangups? Could have fooled me!
Yeah, you might need an asbestos suit if this were in person. But since it's (fortunately) not in person, knock yourself out. But you might need to remember to use a sarcasm tag. :p
I love torties even if they were the most neurotic cats in the world. Because they're sweet and beautiful to me.
Marie — it’s clear from the posts that we all care and tried to give you our points of view and best advice, as we see it.
Would you mind sharing with us your decision — since you mentioned in your original post that Monday was the planned euthanesia day for your cat?
Take care and the best to you, whatever decision you made...
Just reading this. Can’t you put him on a mild tranquilizer?
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