Posted on 06/13/2012 7:39:16 AM PDT by BenLurkin
LOS ANGELES (CBS) — The divorce rate is soaring among people in their 50s — and it’s most often the wife who wants out.
Since 1990, the divorce rate has doubled to 1 in 4 among couples over 50 years old, who are also referred to as “empty nesters.”
The trend is being called “Grey Divorce” and is outlined in a study published by Bowling Green State University.
Century City Family Divorce Attorney Marlo Von Oorschot wrote a book on the subject.
“People look at their marriages and say I could live’ til I’m 90 years old and do I wanna stay in this marriage?”
*In addition to longevity, women are sometimes more financially independent than before, there’s less social pressure to stay married and more focus on individual happiness.
A national survey conducted by AARP finds the majority of split ups are being initiated by women.
“Women in their 40s, 50s, 6o’s still feel very youthful and, if you’re in a marriage where your needs aren’t being met,…we have choices today,” Von Oorschot said.
That may be why dating websites catering to that generation are growing in popularity.
But Von Oorschot said while divorce is a difficult decision — at any age — it can come with more risks at a later age.
“The plans this couple had for 20, 30 years to retire at a certain age are derailed,” the attorney said.
Older couples undergoing divorce may be forced to have to start working again and losing health benefits.
But some believe that when a person is no longer in sync with their partner it can be much more rewarding to tend to their own needs
She wants a divorce after 33 years??? Sorry to hear that and yes I know couples that divorced after many years and the one that instigates it never seems to be happy after the divorce either. Hang in there.
My buddies wife is divorcing him. They are both 40. She has spent a fortune on plastic surgery and he spent some money on an offroad car. When everything is to be sold off he has to sell the car and split the money. She gets to keep the surgeries he paid half of.
I believe she is going thru the mid life crisis. They also have t 2 girls about 8 and 10. What a waste.
Damn that sucks. That's probably the worst age for it to happen for the kids.
I will have to say, my wife and I do the same. I take a guys' trip--to Vegas, or golf; she takes a girls' trip. Usually hers is to a beach.
Not saying we are the perfect marriage by any means, nor am I saying those trips are responsible for the success we do have. but we recognize each other's space.
You bring up an interesting phenomena. It seems that modern marriages are all about the "best friends" concept between husband and wife. I'm not sure we took that approach--we have a marriage together, not a friendship.
I have only been married 23 years, but my wife understands completely that I need time just to do things on my own...guy things...or just time alone. I do the same for her. I think this is critically important.
I go to sporting events alone, travel alone, etc. I did go to a party the other night, and a woman there asked me where my wife was. I said she was just giving me space, and in any case, I thought it was just a guys bonfire and beer thing. Even if I had known there were couples and asked her, she might have politely declined.
She gives that space to me, and there isn’t anything wrong with us.
She is comfortable with herself, and I with myself. But I see that is not the way it is with everyone.
My wife is 54 and is a nurse at a VA Hospital. We where just talking about this the other day - the foreign born doctors live by an entirely different code when dealing with women.
At a private hospital they'd be fired for sexual harassment.
OK 46 to 64 2012-1946 = 66 and 2012 - 1964 = 48. Still not in their 70s which was my point to start with.
I know 2 couples that my wife and I have been friends with for years where the women suffered in bad marriages while raising the kids.
Now that the kids are gone, the women are opting out of what my wife and I consider to be abusive and dysfunctional marriages.
I hate to see it because it puts us in a awkward position and I hate to see this happen, but I cannot blame them for bailing.
What a strange, grossly incorrect, shallow post.
Same here,left me for a computer repair man she met in an Internet chat room. Cost me well above 100K in the end. I am now remarried to the most wonderful woman in the world and could not be happier. I should buy the repair man a case of good wine.
Tell your sister to go volunteer at the V.A. She’ll have all the dates she can handle.
I don’t know what the attraction is....I’m not a beauty queen, I’m just cute. I’m also not a femi-nazi and I’m nice to most patients and co-workers, and I do a lot of traditionally female tasks without a load of drama (preparing coffee for the boss, etc).
Once, I wore an apron to prepare our Christmas party brunch, and one guy told me it gave him a “semi” the rest of the day. Really? An apron????
I had to ask my husband what that meant...LOL. Good thing I didn’t file a harassment complaint! I don’t think it’s me so much as the idea of what I represent, a traditional woman.
Yesterday was the anniversary of my first date with the hubby...35 years ago.
What a shame. No one that they meet in the future will ever be able to share with them all of the memories that they have, or be able to share their love for their children with them. Very sad.
Doctors????
The patients are worse.
Doctors????
The patients are worse.
Well, then they were not non-traceable assets were they!!!
He better think a bit harder next time.
The sad truth is most of these women are not worth what they're asking for.
My Gf and I were best friends for quite a while before we became romantically attached. Lived next door to each other and drove to the gym (both gym rats)every day and came home and cooked(another shared interest) and shared meals at night. Have a couple of other interest that bring us together. Works for us.
Wanna go on a date?
Some of my wife’s friends married men ten or twenty years older than themselves. When they were in their 20s and he was in his 30s or 40s, their husbands were attractive to them and also provided a good income. Once their husbands got older, stinkier, uglier, and especially after they retire... the women get tired of putting up with them fairly quickly. That is the drawback to marrying a younger woman. If you are in this situation you probably need to be extra nice and accommodating and you still might have a problem.
Most women these days really don't care that much whether they have a man around or not, especially if they are employed or have some form of regular income. Men can easily be replaced with a dog, cat, horse, or just the companionship of other women. Women don't care as much as men whether or not they are getting sex either... it just isn't as important to them.
This is a discussion that could go on for hundreds of pages, but it is most valuable as a reminder that if you are approaching this age group that your marriage could be more vulnerable than you think that it is. I know a lot of guys who feel like they were blindsided by divorce. If you want to stay married you have to offer more than a steady income. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you do... your wife still may decide she doesn't want you when she reaches this age.
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