Posted on 06/09/2012 1:46:36 PM PDT by timlilje
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it
was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation
and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road. This
experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from
Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance
it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't
about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is
on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either
against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my shotgun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to
cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I
am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need
some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on
this side of the road before it goes after the problem on
the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current
problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road
and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe
there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to
have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent,
hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which
way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to
a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you
people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the
other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you
eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases
like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the
road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed
the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer
is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is
much more stable and will never crash.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: What?, Did I miss one?
Sheese, to get to the other side. WTH is wrong with you people. I mean are you stupid or something?
BARACK OBAMA: To get to the Polish death camp.
To get to the middle...
great stuff
NW Florida, we have em too...
Bump.....
There was a Chick-Fil-A on his side of the road.
Correction:HER side of the road. Not a transgendered Rooster.
Bonus joke: She crossed the road because she heard her chicken friend across the road had good “knock knock” jokes.
Why did the chicken cross the Möbius band?
To get to the same side.
The chicken crossed the road to prove to the ‘possum and the raccoon that it could be done ...
:)
Why did the chicken cross the road half way?
To lay it on the line.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
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