[mountn man]

"My grandfather always said, “Don’t watch your money; watch your health.” So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather."

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."

"Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does."

" I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something."

-Jackie Mason

[Krankor]

Why do Jewish men die before their wives?
Because they want to.

[ex91B10]

A man goes to a Jewish doctor who gives him the bad news: "You've only six months to live". Then the doctor hands the patient the bill.

After looking at the bill, the patient says "My God! I can't pay that with only six months left to live!", to which the doctor replies "In that case, I'll give you a year".